Tag Archives: England

Joke 891

31 Aug

Today’s subject matter was inspired by KiwiDutch, who blogged about her visit to the UK.

From Just For Fun

You’re hiking around on Hampstead Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day.

You run across the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Lord Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary.  Each gives you different directions to the nearest tube stop.

Who do you think is lying?

Answer: Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.

From The Daily Jester

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Fleeting Moment

29 Jun

The instruction is to find a fleeting moment on the street.  This photo was taken during the 2006 World Cup but it could be from any football tournament (including the current European Cup): that fleeting moment every England fan thinks we really could win this time.

When Did Stockport Go Tropical?

19 Jan

First it was the loose cobra, then the kidnapped alligator and anaconda…now, Stockport has a wild cat on the roam.  Not a missing tabby or a feral kitten – ‘a large ‘mountain lion’ type animal’, seen in a local resident’s garden.  Read it here.

Experts dismiss it as a ‘melanistic savannah’.  No, I don’t know what that is, either, so I looked it up (hooray for free speech on the internet!).  Wikipedia tells me it:

 is a medium-sized African wild cat. DNA studies have shown that the serval is closely related to the African golden cat and the caracal.

I’m no wiser.  I guess free speech is overrated.

Here’s a picture of a serval from junglecats.com (quoting the source – better practice than just linking the picture to the original website: dull reading, but I hope it will keep me out of a yankee jail):

Doesn’t look meaner than any other cat, does it? 

I am reminded of my favourite cat quote.  I’ve shared it before, but cats have nine lives, and so do their quotes:

Cats were once worshipped as gods.  Cats have never forgotten this.

Wild cats on the loose in Stockport…I guess I should have stayed in South Africa; it’s probably safer there.  We emigrated from England to South Africa in 1982: first my Dad and younger brother; Mum and I followed six months later.  Mum was on the phone to Younger Brother just after he arrived:

Mum: So what’s it like?

YB: [Joking] Great!  I’m just watching the lions stroll down the street.

Mum: [Screams] [Incoherent babble about getting out of there now!] [Faints]

I could have that conversation with her today, from Widnes to Stockport, and it would be the same in its essentials.

Or maybe it would be me with the [Screams] [Incoherent babble] [Faints]: Mum’s been dead four years.

Nobody Does Understatement Like The British

14 Jul
Satellite view of the English Channel

Image via Wikipedia

We had an earthquake today – magnitude 3.9.  I doubt it will make the international news. 

It wasn’t even all ours: we shared it with France, out in the middle of the English Channel.  Of course it was out at sea: no troublesome nature is allowed to mess up our tiny gardens and neatly laid parks.

A man at work felt it:

The office wobbled slightly, the building shook, monitors on the table rattled and the roof creaked a bit.  It felt as if a big lorry had gone by in a hurry, except we don’t have lorries go through here.

It reminds me of the tornado that hit Birmingham a few years ago: residents were upset when some roof tiles fell off.

Even our geological events are understated.  Tutting at the natural world: it’s how we keep our lips stiff.

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