Tag Archives: Independence Day

Four Fun Facts For The Fourth Of July

4 Jul

  1. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both signed the Declaration of Independence; went on to serve as Presidents of the United States; and died on July 4th, 1826, the fiftieth anniversary.  Adams’ last words were said to be, ‘Thomas Jefferson still survives,’ not knowing that his friend and rival had died several hours earlier (no internet back then).
  2. Fifth President James Monroe, another Founding Father, died on July 4, 1831.  He was the third consecutive President to die on Independence Day. Fourth time was the proverbial charm, to the relief, I’m guessing, of John Quincy Adams.
  3. The Declaration of Independence has been celebrated since the first anniversary in 1777, but the 4th of July was not declared a national holiday until 1941. It was first referred to as Independence Day in 1791.  Ideas caught on slowly back then – like I said: no internet.
  4. Three times I have declared a Will Smith Day, because he is the King of Independence Day.  No government either side of the pond has taken me up on it.  You can read the details here, but here’s an extract to whet your appetite:

Sadly, Will won’t be starring in my forthcoming movie, in which large blonde dogs band together and betray humanity to an alien species.  I call it Independence Day: Boomer’s Revenge.  Tagline: The Day The Dogs Bit Back.

Happy Independence Day!

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Joke 7413

4 Jul
Thor, Cool Cat Patriot 7-4-2012

Thor, Cool Cat Patriot 7-4-2012 (Photo credit: inkknife_2000)

Teacher: True or False?  The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia.
Student: False. It was written in ink.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.

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Why did the British soldiers wear red coats?
So they could hide in the tomatoes.

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Why did Paul Revere ride from Boston to Lexington?

Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

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What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantry.

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What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British.

[It hurt to post that one]

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What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty.

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What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting.

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Where did the colonists’ dogs protest against England?
At the Boston Flea Party.

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What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?
Yankee Doodler.

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Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.

Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.

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Happy Fourth of July to my American rebels readers!

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From academictips.

Three Things That No Longer Exist

4 Jul

The B of the Bang

 

b of the bang

b of the bang (Photo credit: <smee>)

This beautiful sculpture, my favourite ever, has finally been dismantled and sold for scrap.   Okay, it went rusty and some of the spikes fell off and almost killed passersby, but so what?  It was gorgeous.

The sculpture was inspired by sprinter Linford Christie, who once said that he began running ‘on the b of the bang’ of the starter’s pistol.  I am sad to see it go.

As are the Manchester Evening News, apparently, who appear to have wanted a skewered pedestrian at the very least.  This is from their report:

The 184ft structure was eventually taken down in 2009 after a success of spikes fell off.

I don’t know science but I do know the value of an ion.

Or perhaps it’s a collective noun?

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The Colonies

Happy Independence Day to my American readers!

We forgive you!

May your day be fun, your dogs be hot, and your fire work.

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My Tooth Root

The dentist was very nice – he put magic cream on my inside cheek before sticking it with giant needles and rottling around in my gums like a dog with a marrow bone.  I didn’t feel a thing.

As I lay there being prodded with a number of pins, it occurred to me that there is no doubt of my nationality: a strange man offered me violence while I listened to The Archers on Radio 4, pretending it wasn’t happening.  And of course I had a stiff upper lip.

The treatment was not as horrible as I remembered, possibly because dentistry has moved on since 1983; but I was left with a lopsided face.  I didn’t know it was lopsided; dentists don’t keep mirrors in their surgeries, for obvious reasons.  I wondered about the funny looks and screaming kids as I walked home, but it was only when I called on my friend that I realised my usual natural beauty might have deserted me.

She opened her door, horror came over her face, and she grabbed me in a bear hug, muttering. ‘Oh Tilly!  Oh Tilly!’  For once, I’m not exaggerating.  She thought I’d been attacked or had a stroke.  It was an easy mistake to make:

I never appreciated how difficult it is for stroke victims to eat properly, even though I witnessed my poor Mum-in-law’s struggles.  I haven’t made that much mess eating since I was a baby.  Imagine it being a permanent condition.  Awful.

I was surprised not to have an aching tooth this morning; but my root has gone, of course; so I wouldn’t, would I?  My cheek is tender and it hurts to smile, but that will soon wear off.

I have a temporary filling until next week.  I do not have to pay for any of this treatment.  God bless the NHS!  I would, if I was working; and I would, gladly.  In the meantime, God bless the welfare state!  The benefits system has many faults but letting people die of rotten teeth isn’t one of them.

Finally, thanks to my family, who have been broadly sympathetic:

I Have To Kill My Kindle

8 Mar
English: Third generation Amazon Kindle

Image via Wikipedia

I am reading so much, I can’t get any writing done.  They say you can’t be a decent writer if you don’t read: by that reckoning, I’m next year’s Literature Nobel Laureate…if I had actually written anything.

So, here’s a reblog of an old post, chosen because it allows me to find a new photo of an old favourite to illustrate it.

Will Smith: An Apology

Dear Will, I’m sorry we are both happily married
to other people because, with your ears and my
size we’d have been perfect for a remake of ‘Dumbo’. 

Love, Tilly Bud.

I love Will Smith; he’s a natural actor and incredibly funny.  I declare today

Will Smith Day

for no other reason than it gives me an excuse to think about him.  I loved him in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  I didn’t know then that he was a rap star and I often wondered about the funny little fellow who couldn’t act who kept making guest appearances, who turned out to be DJ Jazzy Jeff, his rap partner. 

My two favourite movie lines of all time are Will Smith’s in Independence Day, and they both occur in the scene where he and Jeff Goldblum are attempting to plant the virus that will wipe out the alien invaders:

We have got to work on our communication!  (with the accompanying two fingers to the eyes gesture)

and

I ain’t heard no fat lady! (throwing away the Victory Dance)

 Doesn’t sound interesting flat on the screen like that, I know; it is definitely one of those moments where you had to be there.  Like Frank Carson, it’s the way he tells ‘em.   If you haven’t seen Independence Day – what is wrong with you?  I have seen it about twenty times.

Do you know what?  I have seen Independence Day about twenty times and it has just occurred to me: what happened to the dog?  Remember how Jasmine risked her and her son’s lives to call Boomer in the tunnel when Los Angeles was being blown up?  And he was in the truck when she was driving around saving what was left of the population.  Boyfriend turns up to rescue her and all of a sudden – no dog.  He’s never seen again in the movie.

Does anyone know if Will Smith claims to be vegetarian…?

I saw Mr Smith in an interview and he described how, after his first record went platinum or he won Grammy awards or something, he went home and told his Mom and she said, ‘Yes, very nice, now go and get some milk; we’ve run out.’   With a mother like that no wonder he’s grounded.

I’m thinking of asking Will to star in my forthcoming movie.  Plot: large blonde dogs band together and betray forgetful humanity to an alien species. 

I call it Independence Day: Boomer’s Revenge

Tagline: The Day The Dogs Bite Back.

Will Smith: An Apology

5 Jul

Dear Will, I’m sorry we are both happily married to other people because, with your ears and my size we’d have been perfect for a remake of ‘Dumbo’.  Love, Tilly Bud.

I love Will Smith; he’s a natural actor and incredibly funny.  I declare today Will Smith Day, for no other reason than it gives me an excuse to think about him.  I loved him in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  I didn’t know then that he was a rap star and I often wondered about the funny little fellow who couldn’t act who kept making guest appearances (DJ Jazzy Jeff, his rap partner).

My two favourite movie lines of all time are Will Smith’s in Independence Day, and they both occur in the scene where he and Jeff Goldblum are attempting to plant the virus that will wipe out the alien invaders:

‘We have got to work on our communication’ 

‘I ain’t heard no fat lady!’  

Doesn’t sound interesting flat on the screen like that, I know; it is definitely one of those moments where you had to be there.  Like Frank Carson, it’s the way he tells ’em.   If you haven’t seen Independence Day – what is wrong with you?  I have seen it about twenty times.

Do you know what?  I have seen ID about twenty times and it has just occurred to me: what happened to the dog?  Remember how Jasmine risked her and her son’s lives to call Boomer in the tunnel when Los Angeles was being blown up?  And he was in the truck when she was driving around saving what was left of the population?  Boyfriend turns up to rescue her and all of a sudden – no dog.  He’s never seen again in the movie.

Does anyone know if Will Smith claims to be vegetarian?

I saw Mr Smith in an interview and he described how, after his first record went platinum or he won Grammy awards or something, he went home and told his Mom and she said, ‘Yes, very nice, now go and get some milk; we’ve run out.’   With a mother like that, no wonder he’s grounded.

Sadly, Will won’t be starring in my forthcoming movie, in which large blonde dogs band together and betray humanity to an alien species.  I call it Independence Day: Boomer’s Revenge.  Tagline: The Day The Dogs Bit Back.

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This is a re-post (with edits). 

Happy 4th Of July

4 Jul

What does freedom mean?

It seems apposite to answer this prompt on this day.  A history of America, to illustrate:

  • England is boss
  • Taxes are high
  • Representation is zero
  • George Washington and something about a cherry tree…?
  • Paul Revere buys a horse
  • The British invitation to tea is politely rescinded; the event is a wash
  • George III succumbs to porphyria and not madness, as everyone believes; he begins to write poetry: I’m not insane, me/The proof’s in my blue wee
  • Team GB gets the hump
  • The Colonies get humpier
  • A slight disagreement occurs (relations are frosty until the Cold War, when everyone is united against a common foe because the enemy of my enemy is my friend.  Does that mean the friend of my friend is my enemy?)
  • GIII talks to a tree
  • Fireworks are the new black
  • The television series Centennial comes out in the Seventies, shown on Sunday afternoons while my mother is chained to her ironing board
  • The British suddenly get it, and forgive the Americans for not wishing to be yoked to their particular tyranny
  • Paul Giamatti is John Adams
  • Everyone eats hot dogs and gets fat
  • Representation with taxation is universal: We, the People, pay you, the Government, to screw us over.  Hooray for democracy; you can’t buy that kind of freedom
  • The day is rounded off with a nice cup of tea

Now I’m off to celebrate by watching Will Smith in Independence Day.

To My American Readers: Happy 4th of July! 

Okay, joke’s over: can we have our country back?

And by the way, it was us who invented apple pie.

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V. Okay

14 Apr

I finally got to watch the new V last night.  It wasn’t bad.  I enjoyed it enough to sit through two episodes and set up a series link.  The hero is now a heroine (Mrs Clause, Elizabeth Mitchell) and the collaborating female journalist is now a collaborating male journalist (a creepy-looking Michael J.Foxonbotoxalike).  The vulnerable teenage girl is now a vulnerable teenage boy and…I think you might get where they’re going with it.  The priest is still male (we haven’t moved on that far since the Eighties) though he is much younger (Taken and 4400‘s Joel Gretsch).

I can’t decide if it was ripping off every sci-fi movie, series, game and cliché it could find, or paying homage to them.  The intro was straight out of Independence Day but there was a character who said as much.  There was also a scene at a warehouse with an address beginning, 44oo Whatever Street.  Spud said there was something from the game Resistance in it as well.  It could be fun spotting the references or it could become tiresome, but I suspect I’m going to watch it all anyway; though nothing could replicate (see what I did there?  Star Trek reference?  Just paying homage, honest) the shock of Diana and that jaw in the original series.

V is showing on SyFy.  You may not know the channel because, up until ten o’clock last night, it went under the name of Sci Fi.  They had a big launch that I missed because of my habit of fast forward(!)ing (don’t mind me, I am just trumpeting science fiction references in the style of the new V) the adverts.

As much as we all love science fiction, we never watch the SyFy channel; I don’t know why.  We might start, however, because there is a new series coming on called – wait for it – Painkiller Jane.  How cool is that for a title?

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Yesterday’s prompt required us to start a poem with a line from a choice of eleven, from the poetry of Norman Dubie.  I know I am supposed to take the prompts seriously but sometimes I can’t help myself.

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Poem Starting With A Line From Norman Dubie

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Her breasts filled the windows like a mouth;

her stomach blew up like yeast

and her chins went south.

*

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I missed my Dad yesterday so I wrote this one:

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The Last Time

 * 

Last time I saw Dad

he lay in state, refusing

to laugh with me or

at me.  He gave me

away in that suit.  I gave

him away in that 

suit.  Too young to die;

too sick to live.  Cigarettes

did for him, at last.

*

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Have a great day!

Will Smith: An Apology

26 Mar

  Dear Will, I’m sorry we are both happily married to other people because, with your ears and my size we’d have been perfect for a remake of ‘Dumbo’.  Love, Tilly Bud.

I love Will Smith; he’s a natural actor and incredibly funny.  I declare today Will Smith Day, for no other reason than it gives me an excuse to think about him.  I loved him in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  I didn’t know then that he was a rap star and I often wondered about the funny little fellow who couldn’t act who kept making guest appearances (DJ Jazzy Jeff, his rap partner). 

My two favourite movie lines of all time are Will Smith’s in Independence Day, and they both occur in the scene where he and Jeff Goldblum are attempting to plant the virus that will wipe out the alien invaders: ‘We have got to work on our communication’ and ‘I ain’t heard no fat lady!’   Doesn’t sound interesting flat on the screen like that, I know; it is definitely one of those moments where you had to be there.  Like Frank Carson, it’s the way he tells ’em.   If you haven’t seen Independence Day – what is wrong with you?  I have seen it about twenty times.

Do you know what?  I have seen ID about twenty times and it has just occurred to me: what happened to the dog?  Remember how Jasmine risked her and her son’s lives to call Boomer in the tunnel when Los Angeles was being blown up?  And he was in the truck when she was driving around saving what was left of the population?  Boyfriend turns up to rescue her and all of a sudden – no dog.  He’s never seen again in the movie.  

Does anyone know if Will Smith claims to be vegetarian? 

I saw Mr Smith in an interview and he described how, after his first record went platinum or he won Grammy awards or something, he went home and told his Mom and she said, ‘Yes, very nice, now go and get some milk; we’ve run out.’   With a mother like that no wonder he’s grounded.

Speaking of mothers, I am a bereft one.  Tory Boy has not come home for the Easter holidays because he is out canvassing for the prospective Parliamentary candidate for Lancaster.  If he’s not careful, he won’t get a good degree because he’s too busy living the politics to study it.   He has promised to come home for his birthday in April (presumably because there will be presents), so I have that to look forward to.   That, and my forthcoming movie, in which large blonde dogs band together and betray humanity to an alien species.  I call it Independence Day: Boomer’s Revenge.  Tagline: The Day The Dogs Bit Back. 

 

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