Tag Archives: Joke of the Day

The Winding Up Begins

30 Nov
English: Joke shield of Princess Beatrice of York.

English: Joke shield of Princess Beatrice of York. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I tell the last few jokes of the challenge, I thought it would be fun to share some of my favourites of the previous jokes.

Every day, I will post a new joke and an old joke.  I’m sure you won’t mind.

I’ll share this joke to start the ball rolling; it’s one of my favourites simply because it’s Joke 1, posted on March 25, 2011.  It’s actually rubbish but I have a sentimental fondness for it:

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*In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O’Neill said, “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.”

Paul replied. “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.”

“Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs. O’Neill, “but what is the object?”

“To get the best mark possible,” said Paul.

*

From ajokeaday.com

 

Joke 514

19 Aug

 

From Pun of the Day.

I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.

 

Joke 511

16 Aug

 

Skyscraper?

Skyscraper? (Photo credit: Naveen Roy)

From ajokeaday.com, though I first heard a version of this thirty years ago.

Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.  After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim and Scott, “Let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting.  I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights; Jim can sing songs for 25 flights; and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way.”  

The others agreed this was a good idea so Bill told jokes for  25 flights, recalling the best of those he’d read at The Laughing Housewife.

At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing.

At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.  At the 74th floor he said, “I will tell my saddest story yet…I left the room key in the car!” 

 

Joke 146

17 Aug

This joke is courtesy of my nine-year old niece, who asked if she could contribute to the joke-a-day challenge.  I thought that was a lovely idea.  If you have a child who would like to send me a joke, I would be happy to use it.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, ‘Why the long face?’

101/1001: A Plea For Help

9 May
Some of My Best Jokes Are Friends

Image via Wikipedia

Most of you seem to enjoy the daily joke; and I love it when you post jokes in the comments.  Would you mind if I steal them?

  • Not everyone reads comments and yours deserve a wider audience (a little flattery to grease the wheels; I hope you like it)
  • They will re-surface in about a year’s time, so that people forget them
  • You will be credited as the source
  • The internet is full of crass and obscene jokes (often funny; rarely publishable) so
  • I am desperate for good, clean jokes
  • You could also email jokes to me
  • I would be grateful
  • You will help make people laugh
  • I would be so grateful
  • I would be ever so grateful

Joke 1

25 Mar
No Joke!

Image via Wikipedia

I figure you can never laugh too much (except at funerals) so I’m going to post a joke every day for the next 1001 days.  I’d better warn you now: on the whole, these will not be great jokes.  They will be excruciating, wince-making, pun-aching jokes that I have grabbed off the internet.  I don’t have the joke-composing gene so what else can I do but steal somebody else’s? 

From http://www.ajokeaday.com/

In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O’Neill said, “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.”

Paul replied. “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.”

“Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs. O’Neill, “but what is the object?”

“To get the best mark possible,” said Paul.

 

 

A Joke For You

18 Aug

 

A friend of mine posted this joke on Facebook and he said I could share it with you.  Be warned: it’s not to everyone’s taste; the Hub for one is going to read it and go ‘Huh?’  He doesn’t see the funny side of puns and nonsense and jokes that subvert expectations, but it had me laughing for an hour after I read it:

 Last night I had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up this morning, there was a man stood at the side of my bed predicting the punchline.

 
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