Tag Archives: Manchester City F.C.

Virgin United

27 Oct

I hesitated to use today’s title because of the weird searches it will attract to my blog.  For all of five seconds.  Think of the weird searches it will attract to my blog!

Manchester City FC

Image by scaryredhair via Flickr

Some background information is necessary for many of you to comprehend today’s post.

1) Richard Branson must be a United fan.  He lives in London; that was my first clue.

2) I support Manchester City football club.  I was an Evertonian by birth but the Hub made me convert on marriage, and there’s no zealot like a convert: I am unashamed in my bias.

3) Our arch rivals are Manchester United, a team that resides in the City of Salford, not Manchester – hence the number of United fans who don’t come from Manchester (are you listening, Irish Tinman?). 

If you are American, think of the intense rivalry between the Chicago Bulls and the Chicago White Sox and you’ll get an idea of what I’m talking about – two teams playing in different leagues.  For years we have been the poor relations but that is changing: a very nice and supremely rich man, Sheikh Mansour, kindly made us the richest football team in the world; bought us a manager who has won silverware at every club he has ever managed (now including us; thank you, O The Great Mancini); and fabulous players who wouldn’t have considered us a few short seasons ago.  Money buys success: who’d have thunk it?

But I digress.

4) It was Derby Day last Sunday: City trounced United 6 – 1 at home.  Their home.  It’s like someone walked in, bashed the wife about, got the kids to lick his slippers and ate the man of the house’s chicken dinner.  Pretty nasty.  Tee hee.

I wasn’t going to mention it, despite Tinman’s masterful explanation of what went wrong, which deserves a big audience (I couldn’t give him this week’s CoWAbunger because that would have seemed like I was gloating about his miserable team’s pitiful performance and I would never do that, even though they were rubbish and we played them off the park):

BTW, tell the Hub that seven of your six goals were offside, you started the game with eighteen players, the goal was wider at the end we were defending and, thanks to a bizarre sponsorship deal, our players were forced to play wearing deep-sea diver’s boots.

But now I have to mention it because of something weird that happened last night: Richard Branson was clearly out for revenge.

5) City played Wolves.  The match was on the telly…only…it wasn’t…

  • The game was due to start at 19:45. 
  • At 19:40 we lost the signal. 
  • As well as our telephone and internet.
  • Virgin provide our tv, telephone and internet.
  • We were cut off from civilisation.
  • The Hub got on his Pay As You Go mobile to Virgin.
  • He was put on a thirty minute hold, at least.  To compensate for the long wait, Virgin now give you an option to choose your irritating muzak: Press 1 for pop.  Press 2 for urban.  Press 5 for classical. 
  • Seriously?
  • He gave up before his money ran out and dug out the transistor radio instead.
  • Thus it was that the Hub, Spud’s loaner Granddad and three teenage boys listened to City beat Wolves 5 – 2 huddled around an old radio.  It was like being back in Division 2. 
  • The match finished.
  • One minute later…the tv, internet and phone came back on.

Don’t tell me Richard Branson’s not a Red.

Image via Wikipedia

I’m Scaring Me Now

21 May
The Manchester City team which won the 1904 FA Cup

Image via Wikipedia


Remember my prediction post of two weeks ago?  Here are my predictions again because I know most readers can’t be bothered to click on the link; it’s not like I don’t already give you enough to read; what do I want?  Blood?  You have a life, too, you know:

  • I will watch Doctor Who
  • Man City will win the FA Cup
  • I will go to church
  • I will write poetry
  • I will eat too much/blog too much/moan at the Hub
  • I will tell my children I love them
  • I will make fun of stupid WordPress prompts

You will be amazed to learn that I had a 100% success rate.  Every single prediction came true (though Number Two was helped along with a little prayer and a lot of sweat and nausea).

I’m rather frightened at how good I am; I didn’t know I possessed such talent.

Have you made any predictions lately that came true?  And how loaded were you?  I’m sorry; I meant, how loaded were they?

Stockport’s Finest

17 May

Fairytale: Cpl Mark Ward gives the cup to Carlos Tevez

As much as I love Carlos Tévez who, my son tells me, was not who they had in mind when they invented High Definition tv,  the real hero in the top picture is the man in brown. 

(You can read the whole story here.)

He is Corporal Mark Ward of the Mercian Regiment: from Stockport, lifelong Man City fan, and holder of the Military Cross for bravery in Afghanistan.  He is one of the few people to have presented the FA Cup – it’s usually royalty – and as a City fan must have been over the Blue Moon.

It is Corporal Ward and others like him who are the ones who should be earning hundreds of thousands of pounds a week.  There’s something wrong in a world that values actors and sports people above the military, police, teachers, medics, bin men and others who make our lives better and safer.

Once In A Blue Moon – It’s Time To Celebrate!

14 May

This is the moment today that Manchester City won the FA Cup Final.

Excuse the blurring: my hand was shaking with nerves.

The Hub was so excited, he almost stood up.

Thirty-five years since we last had any silver to polish – no wonder we enjoyed it.

Blue are Britain’s entry tonight: that’s got to be a good omen.  I’m off to watch Eurovision!

May Forecast

8 May
Manchester City crest from 1997-present

Image via Wikipedia

Make a prediction about something you think will happen next week.

I can give you several:

  • I will watch Doctor Who
  • Man City will win the FA Cup
  • I will go to church
  • I will write poetry
  • I will eat too much/blog too much/moan at the Hub
  • I will tell my children I love them
  • I will make fun of stupid WordPress prompts

Number Two is a fervent hope and has to happen because I don’t want a bunch of grown men and teenage boys wetting my carpet with their tears next weekend. 

The rest will definitely come to pass.  The moon is in Mars and the stars are aligned with my bar of Galaxy chocolate, so I know these things.

Think I’m Gonna Find Me A Black Cat

7 Nov
Manchester City crest

Image via Wikipedia

West Brom 0 – 2 Manchester City

…although it killed the Hub not to listen, he reckons it was worth taking one for the team.  So now you know – the fate of the richest football club in the world rests in the hands of the Sick Man of Stockport.  Sheikh Mansour could have saved himself a fortune.

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