Tag Archives: Memory

Joke 830

1 Jul

bad memory, funny quotes

I have posted a joke a day for the last 118 weeks and four days…on Day 5 of Week 119 (today), I forgot!  Sorry.

By way of apology, here are some quotes about memory.  They’re not that funny but, if I remember correctly, I’ve already told you all the funny jokes about memory.  Also, they’re not that funny but, if I remember correctly, I’ve already told you all the funny jokes about memory (like that one).

  • I have a two-story house and a bad memory, so I’m up and down those stairs all the time. That’s my exercise.   Betty White
  • Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.   Franklin P. Adams
  • Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?   Francois de La Rochefoucauld
  • We can remember minutely and precisely only the things which never really happened to us.   Eric Hoffer 
  • There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.   James Branch Cabell
  • Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.   John Kenneth Galbraith
  • When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.   Mark Twain
  • He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying. Michel de Montaigne
  • Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. Michel de Montaigne (1533 – 1592)
  • It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.   P. D. James 

Quotes from quotationspage.com & searchquotes.

Terminators And Conditions

13 Jul
John Connor

Image via Wikipedia

Do you believe machines will be smarter than humans?

Already happening: I can’t work my phone, my dvd player, my cooker, and almost all of this computer.  Fortunately, it’s not a problem: I have a technosavvy family to operate them for me; and John Connor is hiding somewhere in America right now, waiting to deal with that naughty Skynet when it tries to kill us all.

You won’t know who he is, so don’t try finding him: he has looked different every time I’ve seen him.

Describe a perfect meal.

I can’t pick just a few things, because I like food too much to choose between it.  I’ll settle for a buffet of everything I’ve ever liked

My one stipulation: there must be sprouts.  And roast potatoes.  Steak, egg, chips, at least sixteen different vegetables, a baguette with real buffer, hot, crisky chicken, a milk cuddy, a greem salad, a ga,,on (not too salty), a pran cocktail starter, because I’m a child of the Seventies, a fruit platteau wit los of strawfaierries…sorry, my fingers keep slipping off the keys because of the drool.

I’ll settle for a buffet of all food, from everywhere.  And perhaps a guest, to hold my head over the toilet when I’m done.

Write about your earliest memory.

3 a.m., getting up to drive to Zimbabwe from Johannesburg.

Sometimes, the prompter just asks for it.

*

*

%d bloggers like this: