Tag Archives: Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa Smile

24 Jun

I lofe corn on the cob.  Not any more.

Thorry if I theem to be lithping a bit – 2/3 of my front tooth now rethideth in tonigh’th dinner.  It thnapped off.  Jutht thnapped off!  At leatht now I know why the Mona Litha nefer thmiled with her mouth open…gummy as Poth Thpice.

I’m thuppothed to be gifing a poetry reading tomorrow.

Not gonna happen, unleth my dentitht workth a miracle.

 

WordPress Falls At The Last Hurdle

1 Jan

 

WordPress

Image by Adriano Gasparri via Flickr

 

I was going to write a post about how great WordPress is.   How they are always updating the blogs to make them more user-friendly; how the techies solve most problems fairly quickly and – more to the point – politely; how they are always adding useful little features; and taking them away again when we all complain loud and long about how we hate them. 

That was my intention, especially after reading Worth Doing Badly and noting that Tinman went all mushy on us and said uncharacteristically nice things about WordPress.  I thought, if you can’t beat them, be nice to them: if they can take down Tinman, they can take down anyone.  So I prepared a post in praise of WordPress prompts.  I say ‘prepared’.  I mean, thought A post in praise of WordPress prompts might be good.  Because I have enjoyed the postaday2011 prompts.  I know you have all complained at how stupid many of them were, but that was the point: I made merciless fun of them, and enjoyed every single one.  That’s why I thought it would be nice to say so.

But then WordPress made a fatal error…they sent me my yearly stats.

I like stats.  Stats tell me how I’m doing; they tell me what you like (laughing); what you don’t like (not much; you’re easily pleased). 

Stats tell me how many visitors I’ve had this year: about 75,000. 

This blog was viewed about 75,000 times in 2011. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 3 days for that many people to see it.

WAIT!  Not ‘about 75,000’ at all!   EXACTLY 87,639.  I calculate you owe me half a day at the Louvre Museum, WordPress.  I might have missed the Mona Lisa thanks to your wonky maths.  Though, with a face like that, does anyone really miss the Mona Lisa?  She’s a bit smug, isn’t she? 

Mona Lisa face 800x800px

Image via Wikipedia

 

They then tell me I wrote 826 new posts.  Cough.  Try 883.  385 photos were uploaded.  I’ll take their word for it, because words are my business, not pictures.

But here is where I lost it:

The busiest day of the year was December 6th with 455 views.

I knew THAT was wrong – I have fifteen other days with higher, sometimes much higher, and in one case, well over double higher, hits.  I may have stomped on the desk a bit when I read that part.

Finally, to rub salt into my festering soul, WordPress told me that:

Some of your most popular posts were written before 2011.

So, not content with underselling me on my statistics, they tell me my best work is behind me.

Be warned, WordPress, I’m watching you.  (I hope you’re not watching me)

*

So, what can you expect in 2012? 

Jokes, naturally.  Lots about me, and how I feel, and what I think, and how wonderful I am, naturally.  Occasional mentions of my family, prat falls in particular.  Naturally.  Same old, same old.  It feels natural to me.

Happy New Year, and thanks for making my stats comparable to a famous French tourist site.

I’ll leave you with a quote, in case you are new here:

A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
Hugh Sidey

 

%d bloggers like this: