Tag Archives: Money

Joke 723

16 Mar
For Dave (S81)

For Dave (S81) (Photo credit: Romeo66)

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.   The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.  When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’  After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.  After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps herself back up in the towel and goes upstairs.   When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’   

‘It was Bob, the next door neighbor,’ she replies.    

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’   

Moral of the story:  

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.   

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Thanks to Kay at Musings for this one.  It is actually part of a group of jokes with business lessons at the end but, sadly, I had to omit them because they were a little risqué for a family friendly blog.

Joke 718

11 Mar

A news announcement from the Chuckle Bros cartoon.

Spanish shopkeeper finds Homer Simpson euro

Spanish shopkeeper finds Homer Simpson euro (Photo credit: DrJohnBullas)

This just in:

The new American two dollar coin was struck down in the Senate today by those opposed to change.

Joke 390

17 Apr

Thanks to Mirth and Motivation for this one.

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.  He found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, and decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.  One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.   Her natural beauty took his breath away.

“I may look like just an ordinary guy,” he said to her, “but in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.”

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

The Million Dollar Question

19 Feb
Eiko and her credit card

Image by eikootje via Flickr

What would you do with a million dollars, tax free?

I was going to be flippant, as usual: pay off my credit cards and buy a box of Maltesers with the change.  But then I had a think about the things I really want that money can buy.

Yes, I would pay off my credit cards but there’d be plenty of change.  I would sleep a little better at night.

Money can’t make the Hub well, but it could make his life easier: a hot tub for his aches and pains.  A taxi service for the boys and me so we didn’t have to stretch his limited energy reserves.  There would be enough money to pay for the things he likes doing, which would raise his endorphin levels, which would help him to feel a little better.  Small but significant changes.

I’d pay off Tory Boy’s student debt and put enough away for Spud’s when the time comes.  Give them driving lessons and a Berlitz language course.  They’d have all they need to face life then, because they’re already smart.

Redecorate our bedroom.

I’d see certain people right, as a thank you for their kindness to me/us.  Something for charity as well.  The Hub has this dream of winning huge amounts so he could set up a trust that would help people who couldn’t find money elsewhere: like the person who needs life-saving treatment in another country or the old man who can’t afford to bury his wife.  The awful things we read about in the paper.

I can’t think of anything else.  With the love of a good man and two fantastic sons, I’m rich enough. 

Wait!  I forgot one: with all that dosh floating around he wouldn’t be able to stop himself buying more crap: I’d buy the Hub a warehouse.

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