Tag Archives: Plumber

The Laughing Plumber

10 Mar

A stranger made me laugh yesterday

Hundertwasser Toilets

Hundertwasser Toilets (Photo credit: sbisson)

A leaking toilet is no laughing matter – you’d think; I beg to differ.  A Stockport Homes plumber came out yesterday to fix our downstairs loo – thankfully, leaking on the way in, not the way out.  He was quick and efficient and had time to chat over his coffee while a round thing sat in a bowl of boiling water, expanding and waiting to be fitted.

The Hub was keeping him company in the hallway while I was sitting at the computer.  We were both startled when the plumber suddenly confided, I broke up with my girlfriend last week.  Sympathetic noises from the Hub and then the plumber continued, She didn’t like me being a plumber so I had to tell her, “It’s over, Flo.”

And then he was off – rapid-fire one-liners, like he was in a virtual comedy war game and we were the enemy.  They came at us from every side and I wrote down as many as I could but I missed at least half, so you’ll have to make do with these:

  • I read a book on the history of superglue.  I couldn’t put it down.
  • I asked the barman for a bottle of water.  He asked me, ‘Still?’ ‘Yes,’ I said; ‘I haven’t changed my mind.’
  • I went shopping at the Trafford Centre.  I accidentally used my organ donor card instead of my credit card.  It cost me an arm and a leg.
  • Did you know six out of seven dwarves aren’t happy?
  • A woman tried to sell me a brand new, fifty-inch HD tv.  I thought it might be stolen but she said it was because the remote didn’t work.  I couldn’t turn it down.
  • I had double glazing windows installed but I could still feel a draught.  That was a pain.

Next time I run out of material for the daily joke, I’m sabotaging the upstairs toilet.

And if they didn’t make you smile, the story of a pod of rescued dolphins might.

Read more Six Word Saturdays here.

Joke 47

10 May

A noted heart surgeon was having a formal party. Shortly before the guests arrived he was told that all the bathrooms were backed up and not flushing. He called a 24 hour plumber listed in the phone book.

The plumber arrived quickly and within 15 minutes all was well. He gave his bill to the heart surgeon and the surgeon exclaimed, “$900! You were only here 15 minutes! I’m a heart surgeon and even I can’t charge that much.”

The plumber replied, “Neither could I when I was a heart surgeon.”

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