Tag Archives: postaday2012

Joke 287

5 Jan

Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’

The operator says, ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

There is silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, ‘OK, now what?’

Dangerous Thief On The Loose In Stockport

4 Jan

A danger to himself, that is: some idiot thought it would be a good idea to steal an alligator from a pet shop.  The insane burglar also took snakes and lizards, including pythons and a seven-foot yellow anaconda.   

An American alligator's foot

Image via Wikipedia

 The shop owner, Paul Williamson, advised that the alligator was not

the biggest animal in the world, but they can do a lot of damage.  They’re very powerful, very strong and they’ve obviously got huge teeth, so if they bite, the next place for you go to is hospital.        Read it here.

Thanks for the warning: if a stray alligator crunched through me on the way to the post office I might not have had the sense to call an ambulance; you know how distracted I get.

Mr Williamson said that two tortoises were also stolen, but they ‘were relatively harmless.’

You couldn’t make it up.

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