Tag Archives: Satire

Joke 839

10 Jul

Now for some First World Problems.  You can find more at thechive.com.

first world problems 81 20 First World problems (20 Photos)

first world problems 10 20 First World problems (20 Photos)

first world problems 41 20 First World problems (20 Photos)

first world problems 9 20 First World problems (20 Photos)

first world problems 15 20 First World problems (20 Photos)

Welcome To Stockport

20 Jun
View from our house of another drama. The faces change; the cop cars remain the same

View from our house of another drama. The faces change; the cop cars remain the same

So here’s how my early evening went last night:

  • Make dinner
  • Eat dinner
  • Clean up after dinner
  • Rinse plates while daydreaming about Star Trek replicators and the ultimate recycling (dirty plates energized into pristine uniform on perfect and somewhat shapelier figure than I’ve ever owned)
  • Startled by noise outside, shoved inside by open window on glorious summer evening (so rare, it deserves a post of its own)
  • Look up from dirty plate reality
  • See two young men, separated by a bicycle (the crashing to the ground of which startled me into looking up)
  • Watch one young man brandish what looks like a baseball-bat-come-small-tree-trunk
  • Watch same young man swing at other young man with baseball-bat-come-small-tree-trunk
  • Watch third, older, man run up and throw bicycle at brandishing young man
  • Feel disappointed when brandishing man and bicycle-throwing man run out of sight
  • Feel ashamed at my instinctive – nay, feral – enjoyment of violence outside my own front door
  • Feel relieved that the car wasn’t damaged in the fracas
  • Watch second young man ride off on bicycle
  • Listen to shouts and yells out of sight as large group of youths run to join the fray
  • Watch youths suddenly scatter in all directions, hurling abuse at each other
  • Watch as three police cars with flashing lights appear too late to do anything

After discussion with a neighbour – and this is all hearsay so I can’t assert its veracity, though it has the ring of truth – it appears that the local drug dealers had a falling out, leading to one young man of fifteen taking a baseball-bat-come-small-tree-trunk to his own father’s head (the man who threw a bicycle at him); having, apparently, beaten up his own mother last week.  

‘Stay well out of it’ was the neighbour’s advice; which we’re inclined to take.

That all happened around six o’clock.  By seven-thirty, the Hub and I were sitting in a school hall, listening to what’s involved in sending our seventeen-year-old, drug-free, trouble-free, never-hit-either-of-his-parents, baseball-bat-come-small-tree-trunk-free son to university next year.

You can lead a youth to education, but you can’t make him think.  

The drugs see to that.

 

Bits

7 Dec

In my inbox this morning: an opportunity for Vaseline Etching at Hot Bed Press

And it’s not even spam.   Some people are weird, and I write that as a woman who must use one particular set of cutlery to eat egg and chips, even though I don’t care what I use for any other meal.

*

Trawling my drafts section, I came upon these unpublished responses to long-forgotten prompts:

What do you want your tombstone to say?

‘The dust bunnies are having the last laugh.’

What is a strength you have that you haven’t used? Recently? Maybe a secret skill, or perhaps an ability that only surfaces under tough times?

My ability not to make fun of stupidity. For some reason, I don’t know why, it hasn’t been around since January.

*

Spud was voted Most Like Odysseus by the overwhelming majority of his Classics class.  He was particularly pleased because Odysseus’s notable feature (I apologise; he’s fifteen) is to have…erm…male parts like a tree trunk…

*

There’s many a true word spoken in jest:

Madam & Eve: An Antidote To Sentiment

14 Feb

http://www.madamandeve.co.za/

I thought I would plug an old favourite.  The above cartoon is South African.  I have been a fan since it came out in 1992, poking fun at Apartheid and all kinds of South Africans, as well as world events.  My favourite cartoon is the one where Mother Anderson is stockpiling beans, water and candles before the first democratic election in 1994, so they can live in the cellar for three months in the event of civil war breaking out.  Eve, considering the beans, says, ‘If ever there was an argument for peace, this is it.’

 

http://www.madamandeve.co.za/cartoons/me004173.jpg

 

I have been buying the collections since the first one cost R30 in CNA.  They weren’t famous then and a good copy sells for about R300 now.  I wouldn’t part with mine; it’s a narrative of South Africa’s recent history.  And hilarious. 

 

http://www.madamandeve.co.za/cartoons/me001379.jpg

There’s a link to the right if you fancy a look.

http://www.madamandeve.co.za/cartoons/me003930.gif

Most Topical

17 Jun

I had to share this even though you can’t quite see it all.  Click on it to see the whole picture.

The real post will be with you this afternoon.

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