Tag Archives: Sheep

Joke 903

12 Sep
Boy and Sheep

Boy and Sheep (Photo credit: peretzp)

Today’s topic is sheep.  Do you know how difficult it is to find a clean joke on the internet about sheep?


Why did the farmer cross the barnyard?

To give the sheep a bath.

…Think about it…


What did they name the sheep who had all his wool cut off?



What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

Sheep Sign in Lime Street Station, Liverpool, ...

Sheep Sign in Lime Street Station, Liverpool, England (Photo credit: nikoretro)

Mary had a little lamb,
Its feet were full of lard.
Every step the lamb did take,
it slipped back half a yard.


Mary had a little lamb.
You’ve heard it all before.
But did you know she passed her plate
And had a little more?


From Yahoo


Joke 873

13 Aug
Sheep Herd Ahead

Sheep Herd Ahead (Photo credit: Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious)

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a sheep sitting next to him.

“Are you a sheep?” asked the man, surprised.


“What are you doing at the movies?”

The sheep replied, “Well, I liked the book.”


From jokes4us


Joke 123

25 Jul

The teacher asked the second-graders, “There were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?”

“None,” answered little Norman.  “None?  Norman, you don’t know your arithmetic.”

“Teacher, you don’t know your sheep.  When one goes, they all go!”

Big Day

2 Apr

Big.  That’s the theme for National Blog Posting Month.  In April, like NaPoWriMo, and to which I have also signed up.  Problem is, I have no big announcements and all I can think of is Tom Hanks in the movie Big.  And that’s all I have to say about that.  I thought I would for once avoid the obvious self-deprecating fat jokes so I Googled ‘Big’ to see what came up.

I should have realised that there would be more than one movie with the word ‘big’ in the title: The Big Lebowski and The Big Chill, for starters: the former is famous for having a dude Jeff Bridges and the latter for having a dead Kevin Costner, preternaturally foreshadowing his career after Waterworld (which I rather liked, incidentally).  He played the corpse in TBC and his scenes ended up on the cutting floor. 

Google also reminded me that there is Big Ben (a time machine), Big Brother (a time waster) and The Big Issue (time to do your bit for homeless people).   Did you know that Big Ben is actually the name of the bell and not the tower?  According to Wikipedia, ‘Big Ben is the largest four-faced chiming clock and the third-tallest free-standing clock tower in the world.’  Hmm.  This post is so dull it’s practically a horology story.

But I was surprised by the number of companies using the initials B.I.G.  – two.  I thought there’d be loads more.  I did like the home page of the Bjarke Ingels Group.  Check it out for yourself and try not to snigger if you’re English and reading this: http://www.big.dk/

I also liked the name of a little tourist attraction in Devon: http://www.thebigsheep.co.uk/  The blurb invites us to ‘Take yourself on a tour of our website and you will find out how our unique North Devon attraction is devoted to sheep.’  You’ve got to love a place devoted to sweaters and Sunday dinner and offering ‘9 live sheepy shows every day.’

Going off topic now, it is time for Day 2 of NaPoWriMo, but before that, I have hidden the word ‘BIG’ twice in the above paragraphs; see if you can find them.  What else do you have to do?  All of the shops are shut and there’s nothing on the telly. 

I’m afraid I’m going to be a day behind as far as the writing prompts are concerned; I hope you don’t mind.  Yesterday’s prompt was to take five song titles and work them into a poem.  I will give you the titles after the poem; see if you can spot them.


Frances Farmer Wanted A Life


Picture this:

her mama tried. 

Her mama tried;

her mama tried. 

Her mama failed. 


She was

just another nervous

wreck on a bleak life ride,

always moments away

from crazy jail.

Poor Frances. 

They called it ‘madness’ –

those who, safe in their

sanity, electrocuted her

soul; they called her mad.



The songs are:

Picture This – Blondie (or Wet Wet Wet)

Mama Tried – Merle Haggard (my Dad was a massive country & western fan)

Just Another Nervous Wreck – Supertramp

Moments Away – Mango Groove

Madness  –  Madness


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