Tag Archives: Student

Joke 944

23 Oct
Unpaid Internship?  I Think Not.

Unpaid Internship? I Think Not. (Photo credit: william couch)

You Know You’re A Student When…

  • Going to the library is a social event.
  • No matter what ails you, the nurse can only give you generic non-aspirin.
  • You need a map to find your classroom.
  • It’s not unusual to see four feet in the next shower stall.
  • You wear flip-flops in the shower, to avoid the mysterious creeping crud.
  • You pay outrageous prices for books that are worthless to you after four months.
  • The word ‘rush’ does not mean ‘to be in a hurry.’
  • You buy enough underwear to last five weeks so you do not have to wash your clothes often.
  • You’re willing to pay extra for edible food.
  • You’ll pay any sum of money to have a pizza delivered to your room at 2:00 a.m.
  • Out of sheer desperation, you attempt to cook a grilled cheese sandwich on an iron.
  • Standing in line for half an hour to get a bowl of corn flakes is worth the wait.
  • While your mother lectures you over the phone, you take notes.

From terhune.net

Joke 353

11 Mar

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:

“The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

A male student inquired, “How much for a season pass?”

Joke 246

25 Nov

A young man moved away from his parents to become a student. Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, he led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong.

“What’s that big brass gong?” one of the guests asked.

“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the student replied.

“A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend.

“Yup,” replied the student.

“How’s it work?” the second guest asked, squinting at it.

“Watch,” the student replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed: “You idiot, it’s one o’clock in the morning!”

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