Tag Archives: Stupidity

Joke 951

30 Oct
Drink Coffee Stupid

Drink Coffee Stupid (Photo credit: chuckyeager)

Dianne over at Schmidleys Scribbling tells me They Walk Among Us…

*

A man bought a new fridge for his house.  To  get  rid of his old fridge, he put it in  his front yard  and hung a sign on it  saying: ‘Free to good  home. You want it,  you take it.’

For three days  the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.

He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal, so he changed the  sign to read: ‘Fridge for  sale $50.’

The  next day, someone  stole it.

*

One   day I was walking down the beach  with some  friends when someone  shouted, ‘Look at that dead bird!’

Someone looked up at the sky and said, ‘Where?’

They  walk among  us!   

*

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’

My  brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime.  She shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff…’

They  walk among  us!

*

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard a girl  talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the  beach.

She drove down in a convertible, but said she ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving.’

They  walk among  us!   

*

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.  Just to be sure, he went  around the block and passed the same spot,  driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he  passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled  past, this time at a snail’s pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.                                                               
                                                                              
They walk among us. 

Dozy Is As Dozy Does

6 Dec

My Facebook status this morning:

Matt or Rebecca to win! [X Factor]

My Facebook status this afternoon [my profile picture  at the moment]:

I think my cartoon character looks a bit like me today.
 
A reply from an old friend, which I read in my email inbox rather than on fb:
 
I think it’s looked like that for a long time.
 
Take a guess which status I assumed he was replying to….
 
When I went to my home page his comment wasn’t there and I assumed he had thought better of it and deleted it, so I went to his profile page to complain.  It was only when I checked my notifications (using fb twelve months and only just discovered what they are i.e. instructed by youngest son) that I realised my mistake.  Best laugh I’ve had in ages.
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