Tag Archives: Teeth

No Smoking Unless You Are On Fire

2 Aug
Teeth

Image by howzey via Flickr

Time for some more searches that found this blog.

Sound Advice

  • no smoking unless you are on fire
  • life is short smile while you still have teeth

For Those Between Bloggers

  • mezzanine levels blogs

People Often Come Here Looking For A Hard-Working Housewife Blog; How Disappointed They Must Be

  • pain stripping housewife
  • housewife tickle
  • a housewifes job are newer done…
  • my name is i am a housewife
  • how to look like a hard worker
  • housewife superhero 

The Search For Tooth

  • big dogs with cheesy smiles
  • good teeth smile
  • homeless people teeth
  • ugly person smiling
  • tooth bathroom

Ewwwww

  • brown stripe on root of wisdom teeth
  • granies sex
  • pet poo cartoon
  • cartoon fart fog

Sigh.  I Totally Get This

  • my hubby thinks im ugly poem
  • ugly wife blog
  • flaky mother

I Totally Don’t Get This

  • ugliest yorkshire terrier
  • gay socks eating
  • temporary poem
  • gay socks and fun
  • sick clocks
  • yoda police
  • womanless rotary
  • frog facebook

Why So Particular?

  • cfs/me in kusadasi

Demonstrating The Value Of Knowing Where The Commas Go

  • old fashioned house,wife rules

Demonstrating The Value Of Using The Correct Tense (And Complete Sentences)

  • cartoons give birth

Should I Be Worried?

  • noah ark 2011
  • free porn tube
  • knickerless women in the street
  • poem for a knickerless lady
  • gave my wife to another man

Massive Legs Woman And The Elderly Teeth

12 Apr
Using Internet Explorer, I made a close up of ...

Image via Wikipedia

It’s that time again: searches that found me.  If you can make sense of any of them, I’d be grateful to know what.

 

Body Dysmorphia?

  • Massive Legs Woman
  • please give me a full pic.of somebodys legs
  • smiling man with busted teeth
  • tooth cry
  • mashed up teeth smiles
  • smily faces of people who do not have a teeth
  • elderly teeth

That Is So Not A Good Idea

  • green beans with nik naks

Things We Don’t Care About

  • ralphhasawifey

 Again With The Finding Their Way To My Blog For Reasons I Can’t Fathom

  • kill husband cartoon

No Kidding

  • my family lo0k at me strangely if i randomly start laughing at the mobile:)

 

I Don’t Write Poetry On This Blog No More

  • poems for removing guests removing shoes

Huh?

  • fish contraception cartoon
  • polifolia choirs
  • funny barrier contraception cartoons 

How Would I Know?

  • is freda funny?
  • is shower power safe on granite

 Could This Be True?

  • tomato purée stops bulimia
  • ugly women gay sex

 That’s Not Much Of A Prize

  • psychic sees lottery win cartoons

 Let’s Not

  • let’s gonna last 

Why Being A Housewife May Not Be A Good Thing

  • housewife forced to sit ups
  • leather house wife
  • fact about kettles
  • laughing washing machine

What Did She Do To That Donkey?

  • you’re only as old ass the woman you fell

A Beer-Guzzling Mammal Of The Nocturnal Kind

pic of bud sucking bat of africa

And This One Is Seriously Scary

cut open the “pregnant women” “brick testament”

Mum

9 Jan

Today is the third anniversary of Mum’s death.  What a contrast the weather is to last year, when we couldn’t go to the cemetery because the snow was so thick – glorious sunshine today, though a freezing wind made coats a necessity.

Mum is a teenager in this photo.  Her teeth were lovely then but she got gum disease in her thirties and had them all out.  I always considered that a warning – choose between your smile or your fix.  Also, smoking gives you lots of wrinkles: Spud wouldn’t kiss Mum until he was nine because he was scared of her wrinkly face.  It still makes me laugh.

Mum was not a great housewife compared to me, and I am not a great housewife so that will give you an idea of how bad she was.  In fairness, she had a demanding full-time job – and even had three jobs at one point – so she had more of an excuse than I do; but once she acquired the habit of not cleaning, it never left her, even when she retired.

My Nan called in after church one Sunday morning when I was about eleven, and Mum hadn’t started to clean up, so Nan got stuck in to the kitchen.  Once she had finished washing the dirty cups on the side, she made tea in them.  Fortunately she left straight after, because the tea went down the drain – two of the cups Nan washed were used to hold Mum and Dad’s false teeth.

Writer’s Island: Adventure

6 Nov
Wisdom Teeth

Image by tarale via Flickr

A Denture Adventure


A juvenile reaction
to a baby tooth extraction:


£2 – Yeah!

 

A middle-aged reaction
to a wisdom tooth extraction:

 

Quake
Quiver
Sob
Shiver
Cry
Weep
Pills
Sleep
Moan
Groan
Complain
Pain

 

An elderly reaction
to a last-ever extraction:

 

Sigh
Slurp
Burp

*

*

You can see other interpretations of the prompt at http://writersisland.wordpress.com/

The Veneer Of Civilisation

12 Oct
Cavities evolution 4 of 5 ArtLibre jnl
Image via Wikipedia

It’s manky teeth time again.  I have the worst teeth in the world.  When Americans whisper behind their hands about British mouths, it’s me they’re thinking of. 

I had root canal treatment on my front tooth, twenty-odd years ago.  Being dead, it got greyer and greyer until I begged my dentist to help me.  He suggested veneers – in the plural, because one’s front gnashers should match. 

I told my friend Flo about it and she thought it was a great idea until she spoke to her own dentist.  Next time I saw her, I asked her if she was going to have her own teeth done but she fobbed me off.  She didn’t want to upset newly-veneered me, or make me feel uncomfortable.  I knew she was fobbing me off by the way she blushed and ran to the other side of the playground every time teeth were mentioned.

I never did learn what horror story her dentist told her about veneers, but I can take a good guess.  First of all, installing them hurts.  My teeth were sanded down to nothing and every time I breathed (which I do a lot of; there’s no getting round it) it felt like a gale force wind was prodding them with a skewer.  Then the cement used to stick on the veneers was so adhesive, it dried before my dentist had time to remove the excess.  My mouth spent weeks looking as if it had been grouted to match my bathroom.

Worst of all, the cement only seems to work on the gaps between the teeth: my veneers have fallen off several times and had to be glued back on.  Last night it happened again.  ‘I don’t know why it does that,’ I said to the Hub as I finished my chewy lollipop.

 

I had intended to attend the monthly session of Stockport Write Out Loud last night, but I don’t go out with a broken mouth.  It’s one of my rules.  My new dentist has agreed to fix it this morning.  She keeps a spare appointment just for me: I am forever losing crowns, fillings, veneers and bits of old tooth that I don’t use anymore.

I hope my children read this as a cautionary tale: brush your teeth twice a day for three minutes.  If you don’t, I’m warning you: I’m going to smile.

Boys Moan

30 May

Spud Bud has left me for another woman: his friend’s mother, who makes edible mashed potatoes that he can stomach, though he can’t stomach mine; and who has gone off to exotic places for a week: Trearddur Bay in Angelsey.  This is the third time they have taken him away and I am very grateful, though they will insist on bringing him back.

I had hoped to have a break from his complaints – he’s fourteen: complain and sleep is all they do – but he had been gone only six hours before the first call came, complaining that I had not provided him with bedding (okay; I never said his complaints were unjustified).  I remembered the toothpaste; what more does he want? 

Phew!

11 May

I had to rise from my sick-bed to accommodate the massive sigh of relief I let out at the news that we finally have a new Prime Minister. I must say, the whole thing has been terribly British: discreet talks and lots of waiting around for something to happen.  http://www.shesnotfromyorkshire.com/ was quite amusing about it, remarking that the fact that queues were involved in the ‘scandal’ of people being unable to vote was typically British.

Over the last few days I have been amused by the wonderment of foreign bloggers that we have no written constitution, but it is obvious that our system works fine just as it is – we are, after all, the people who tried having a revolution and then decided we didn’t like it and went back to the old system.  We have had a peaceful, if delayed, transition of power, and can now look forward to a period of co-operation between the Conservatives and Lib Dems.

I hope. This is the first coalition government in the UK since 1945, and no-one knows what to expect.  I am feeling quite optimistic that this is the start of a new era in politics.  I say that from the position of being on the almost-winning side, of course, but the Lib Dems must be enjoying the chance of  being in government after so long being the kid brother your Mum makes you drag along with you when you go out with your mates.

I like some Lib Dem policies, such as no tax on wages under £10,000, so I don’t think the coalition is necessarily a bad thing, as long as all parties concerned are working for our good and not theirs.

I thought David Cameron was gracious towards his predecessor in his speech, and Samantha looked like she was going to burst with pride. I felt proud myself to have voted Conservative when I heard him. He is really growing on me.  I like that he is not afraid to compromise for the good of the country and I am beginning to believe that he genuinely wants to improve ‘our country’, as he is so fond of saying.

I have to say, I have never liked Gordon Brown more!  He looked completely relaxed as he went to the Palace and his smile was unscary for the first time ever; perhaps it was tension that made it so frightening.

*

I say ‘sick bed’ but it’s more like ‘tired couch’. The Migraleve worked its magic yesterday as far as relieving the pain, but the nausea is still hovering and I am still feeling quite drowsy.

My friend Viv sent me an interesting email about a possible cause of the migraines, the gist of which I will share with you, in case you stumbled upon my blog looking for  answers: do you grind your teeth?  Your bite might need adjusting.  You might have a  high filling putting pressure on your jaw joint, linked directly to the nerves in the brain.  A grind of the filling might cure the problem.

I’m almost certain that my own migraines are caused by my being a woman of a certain age and change is a-comin’, but I’d like to thank Viv for sharing such useful information.

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