Happy Thanksgiving

From ahajokes

We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK but I have had lots of nice news lately so I saved it up for today.

Tory Boy was headhunted

He received a phone call out of the blue from the office of the MP he helped get elected in Lancaster in 2010, offering him a job.

Although he loves working in production, he’s fed up where he’s living because he works peculiar hours and hasn’t had a chance to make friends; and he’s still in lodgings at 23.  As he intends to have a political career at some point, it seems like a good move; particularly as he has lots of friends in Lancaster and knows the area well.  

Of course, the job is only guaranteed for eighteen months, because there’s an election coming up.  If ever there was an incentive to get someone re-elected, it’s having him as your boss.  He was smart to hire TB.

He will be home for a week before starting his new job in mid-December.  That’s the bit I really like.

Spud had his first offer

Of a place at University, from  Birmingham.  He is delighted, although Sheffield is his first choice.

Birmingham is a good university.  The only negative is that he’s afraid he might start speaking with the local accent.  The thought horrifies him.

I found a lump

Which turned out to be another lymph node.

It is ALWAYS better to get these things checked.  You will avoid unnecessary anguish and sleepless nights.

Today is my brother’s birthday

Happy birthday, Brother-who-never-reads-my-blog; and congratulations on surviving childhood with me for a sister.

You readers all know me as a good girl; but when we were kids our parents owned a little grocery shop.  Bwnrmb and I slept in one attic and boxes of crisps slept in the other.  Having two years’ seniority, I used to send him to forage for our midnight feasts…and I never got caught…

I don’t mind saying ‘sorry’ now, because he won’t read my apology (he ranks somewhere in the region of the Hub in my list of people I can offend without a thought).

Sorry for all the spankings you took on my behalf.

Not.

Doctor Who

The fiftieth anniversary episode: The Day of the Doctor.

Need I say more?

Amazon

In Protest: 150 Poems for Human Rights

My complimentary copy arrived.  I read it.  Powerful, moving, evocative and provocative.

I feel honoured to be included.  

I learned two new words

I love them:

snollygoster   Noun: Slang. a clever, unscrupulous person

borborygmus  Noun: a rumbling or gurgling sound caused by the movement of gas in the intestines

Perfect descriptions of the uninvited guest on Thanksgiving, don’t you think?

Amazon

Writing Our Faith

Another book I’m in…and the editor used my piku on the back cover. Shriek!

The Hub

Because he’s a great husband.

But you know the drill…don’t tell him I said so.

eattt fanksgiving (Photo credit: jelene)

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Joke 609

Thanks to Siggi for sending this just after Thanksgiving last year – and Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American readers!

Oven roasted turkey, common fare for Christmas and Thanksgiving celebrations. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bet you didn’t think I’d save your joke for a whole year, did you, Siggi?

I am thankful for…

all of my readers.  

What are you thankful for?

Siggi says that a large producer of turkeys in the States is Butterball.  They have a phone centre people can call for help with cooking their turkeys.  

I actually knew that, thanks to an episode of The West Wing in which it features.

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The following are some of the funny calls they’ve had over the years.*

• After discovering a turkey from 1969 in his dad’s freezer, an Alabama man called the Talk-Line to ask about the best way to cook the 30+ year-old bird. Although the Talk-Line staffer recommended the open roasting pan method to cook most turkeys, this time she suggested that the first step was to purchase a fresher fowl.  This same gentleman also had in his freezer the top of his wedding cake and a snowball from every snowstorm he’d experienced in Alabama.
• A woman in her seventies, cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, called for help because her mother said she was tired of cooking and it was time her daughter learned how to prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
• A proud gentleman called to tell the staff how he wrapped his turkey in a towel and stomped on it several times, breaking the bones so it would fit in his pan.
• Another gentleman called to tell the operator he cut his turkey in half with a chain saw and wanted to know if the oil from the chain would adversely affect the turkey.
• A disappointed woman called wondering why her turkey had no breast meat. After a conversation with a Talk-Line operator, it became apparent that the woman’s turkey was lying on the table upside down.
• A new bride cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time in a small, apartment-sized oven, wanted to make sure her turkey wouldn’t expand during cooking (as baked goods do), and thus get stuck in the oven.
  

  English: Saying grace before carving the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner in the home of Earle Landis in Neffsville, Pennsylvania (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

• A lady from Colorado called about “how to thaw” her frozen Butterball. She proudly shared the fact that her turkey was stored in a snow bank outside.  It had snowed the night before and it then dawned on her that she didn’t have a clue which snow bank her turkey was in. At that point, the conversation was really over because she was now on a mission to go find her turkey.
• One caller had always cut the legs off the turkey before putting it in the oven thinking that was how you had to cook a turkey. She later learned that the only reason her mom had been doing that was because their oven had been so small that that was the only way to get the bird into the oven.
• A first-time Thanksgiving chef called the Talk-Line one Thanksgiving morning. She was proud to have thawed the turkey successfully and continued to rinse the turkey – with dish soap.  The turkey wouldn’t stop sudsing.
• One mom called in and told how her little girl had asked if they could slow-roast the turkey for three or four days because she liked how it made the house smell. 
• One caller was well versed at walking down the aisle, but not so versed when it came to cooking her Thanksgiving turkey. The caller explained to Carol Miller, a 20-plus year Talk-Line veteran, Thanksgiving with her first husband was a bust since she forgot to thaw the turkey. She blundered Thanksgiving with her second husband when the foil pan she was using bent and slipped out of her hands leaving the feast on the floor. She was hoping the third time would be the charm so she called the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line to make sure she was doing everything right.
  

  US Navy 061123-N-4965F-001 Capt. Taylor Skardon serves Thanksgiving dinner to patrons of the Silver Dolphin Bistro galley on board Naval Station Pearl Harbor (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

• Some holiday chefs take extreme measures to please all guests. A caller was e-mailed a photo featuring a turkey with a “bikini look.” As she was entertaining guests from the Bahamas, she asked the Talk-Line how she could create a “tropical turkey.” Believe it or not, Talk-Line vet Mary Clingman suggested using aluminum foil as a way to make the turkey look like a sun goddess.
• When a Talk-Line staffer asked a caller what state her turkey was in (meaning how thawed was it) the caller responded with, “Florida.”

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tilly’s Blog Jubilee: Day Two

One of the reasons I love blogging is that it allows me to indulge my silly side.  Here are four posts from 2010; you get four because I couldn’t choose between them.

The Son’s Love post wasn’t, technically, my silliness; but I include it to show that it won’t die with me.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

I’m not American but I reckon that if we can import Trick or Treat and McCardboards, it wouldn’t hurt to say what we’re thankful for on one day a year, like our friends across the pond.

Here’s my list:

1) My boys.

 

2) My loving husband.

3) Indoor plumbing (for obvious reasons)

4) Modern dentistry, otherwise I’d look like this:

5) Maltesers (Number 4 refers)

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A Joke For You

A friend of mine posted this joke on Facebook and he said I could share it with you. Be warned: it’s not to everyone’s taste; the Hub for one is going to read it and go ‘Huh?’ He doesn’t see the funny side of puns and nonsense and jokes that subvert expectations, but it had me laughing for an hour after I read it:

Last night I had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up this morning, there was a man stood at the side of my bed predicting the punchline.

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Never Misunderestimate A Son’s Love For His Mother

Tory Boy to me on the phone the other day:

Dr Who was right: some points in time are fixed. You are going to be one of those crazy cat ladies some day, aren’t you?

 

A proud moment and yet I’m dressed like a weird movie villain.

 

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At The Movies

 

Cover of The Time Traveler’s Wife

I’ve just watched The Time Traveler’s Wife. 

But he knew that.

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Related articles

• A Joke For You (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)
• At The Movies (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)
• Happy Thanksgiving  (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)
• Never Misunderestimate A Son’s Love For His Mother  (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)

Bits

In my inbox this morning: an opportunity for Vaseline Etching at Hot Bed Press. 

And it’s not even spam.   Some people are weird, and I write that as a woman who must use one particular set of cutlery to eat egg and chips, even though I don’t care what I use for any other meal.

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Trawling my drafts section, I came upon these unpublished responses to long-forgotten prompts:

What do you want your tombstone to say?

‘The dust bunnies are having the last laugh.’

What is a strength you have that you haven’t used? Recently? Maybe a secret skill, or perhaps an ability that only surfaces under tough times?

My ability not to make fun of stupidity. For some reason, I don’t know why, it hasn’t been around since January.

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Spud was voted Most Like Odysseus by the overwhelming majority of his Classics class.  He was particularly pleased because Odysseus’s notable feature (I apologise; he’s fifteen) is to have…erm…male parts like a tree trunk…

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There’s many a true word spoken in jest:

Joke 245

Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers! 

If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

What sound does a space turkey make?

Hubble, Hubble, Hubble.

 

      

Happy Thanksgiving!

Image via Wikipedia

I’m not American but I reckon that if we can import Trick or Treat and McCardboards, it wouldn’t hurt to say what we’re thankful for on one day a year, like our friends across the pond. 

Here’s my list:

1) My boys. 

                                                                                            2) My loving husband.

3) Indoor plumbing (for obvious reasons)

4) Modern dentistry, otherwise I’d look like this:

5) Maltesers (Number 4 refers)

What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American readers!