Tag Archives: The Star

There’s Always A Silver Lining

14 Sep
Vuvuzela Day

Image via Wikipedia

Remember last year’s World Cup and the demon vuvuzelas?  Like a million bored bees hammering on your window?  My Mum used to make the same noise as a child – well, not so much child, as nineteen year old mother.  When she wanted something and Nan had said ‘no’ (she was a nineteen year old mother living at home and children respected their parents in ye olden dayes), she would shuffle along behind Nan, not quite touching her, and say, Nnnnnnn-nnnnnn-nnnnn-nnnnnnn-nnnnn-nnnnnn-nnnnnn-nnnnn until Nan got fed up and gave in.

But that’s beside the point.  My point is, every time we sat down to watch  a game, we all wanted to beat vuvuzela blowers about the head and other places with the sharp end of their instruments.  Because they are the most annoying things on the planet; and I say that as the mother of two sons.

But I read a happy story today, sort of: vuvuzela noise saved three lives in Soweto.  From the Johannesburg Star:

A Soweto family believe the sound of vuvuzelas blown by their neighbours saved them from death when their house caught alight. […] Johanna Matswi, 59, said she was asleep with her daughter Thelma, 21, and her three-month-old baby at about 5am yesterday when they were awoken by the sound of blaring vuvuzelas, loud screams and the crackling sound of fire.

It wasn’t all good news: the neighbours blew the vuvuzelas because the emergency services didn’t respond.  Hooray for football fans.

For another good news story, visit Mangetout today.

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How To Tickle My Fancy

14 Apr
120

Image via Wikipedia

Before I begin, I make no apology for the contents of today’s post; I can’t – I’m too busy laughing.

This one is just to warm you up:

To our email inbox from Realcycle.  Realcycle, like Freegle, is a Freecycle splinter group – what’s going on out there in freebie land?  Some sort of civil war with the right to own whole barns of tat at stake?

 
From: **********
Date: 08/04/2011 16:37:16
To: Realcycle-Manchester@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Realcycle-Manchester]
WANTED: unwanted pounds, M6

 
I will collect any unwanted pounds Sterling.

 

Won’t we all?  Wish I’d thought of it first.

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This next one was in yesterday’s Star (and it’s not a tabloid).  I’m going to share extracts for your delectation, but you can read the whole article here, if you can stomach it.  This should bring an influx of weird to my search list.

Headline: Penis museum gets human specimen.

You can see why that might catch my eye, can’t you?  And before you say ‘no’, remember you are still reading this. 

If you are wondering about the donor,

“He liked to be in the limelight, you know? He was a funny guy,” he said. “He was a boaster, a braggart… He liked to be provocative.”

The 95-year-old Icelander’s pickled penis will be the main attraction in one of his country’s most bizarre museums.

I bet it will. 

But wait!  There’s more:

Several people had pledged their penises over the years

Note the use of ‘people’, not ‘men’.  Did I miss something in Biology class?

We are informed that

Highlights of the museum’s collection include a 170cm sperm whale penis preserved in formaldehyde, lampshades made from bull testicles and what the museum described as an “unusually big” penis bone from a Canadian walrus.

Gotta love that phrase ‘unusually big’.  I have to visit this place.

The museum’s founder relates how 

colleagues brought him whale penises as gifts.

That must have been a surprise on Christmas morning. 

Apparently,

Photos posted to the museum’s website show small army of ghostly, whitish penises stuffed into jars

and there are

other penis-related craft items.

Bet you won’t find any at Hobbycraft.

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