Tag Archives: The Sun

I Like The Sun, And That’s A Fact

31 May


Today when I got up, the sun was shining for the first time in months.

Actually, I know that the sun always shines (and not just on tv): I was once on an Aer Lingus plane that left Zürich in the middle of winter, climbed through mountains of snow clouds, and when we broke through the top there was the sun, waving to us. 

There were nine people on that plane, including the crew, and the Hub ate three breakfasts because, rather like Everest, they were there.

I thought I’d look up some interesting sun facts for you.  I’ll start with this one, because it gives the most stupid explanation I’ve ever heard:

  • It is a medium size star, it also has medium brightness.  Some stars are many times brighter, and some are many times fainter.

Thanks for clearing that up.  Now explain this: if it is medium, how can it be large?

  • Containing more than 99.8% of the total mass of the Solar System, the Sun is by far the largest object in the Solar System.

I suppose it’s the same way I can be beautiful yet repulsive, and for a similar reason:

  • The Sun also emits low density streams of particles, also known as the solar wind. These winds blow through the solar system at 450 km/sec and consist mostly of electrons and protons.

The blow factor is about the same but my wind consists mostly of smells and smells.  Talking of gas,

  • The centre of the Sun is made of helium.

I pity the poor bloke whose job it was to check that out.  But not to worry, we’ll all be dead soon:

  • The Sun is heating up, and will kill all life on Earth.

That’s not very nice, is it?  His mother won’t be happy.

  •  It’s becoming 10% more luminous every billion years. In fact, within just a billion years, the heat from the Sun will be so intense that liquid water won’t exist on the surface of the Earth. Life on Earth as we know it will be gone forever.

Better stock up on the Evian.

  • On its trip around the sun, the earth travels over a million and a half miles
    per day.

Did you buy enough Evian?

  • In Spit Bergen, Norway, at one time of the year the sun shines continuously for three and a half months.

And don’t forget the suntan lotion.

  • Light from the Sun reaches Earth in around 8 minutes.

Unless you live in Stockport, when it’s every eight years.  I blame Norway.

  • There are sometimes “Mock Suns” (parhelia) which are called Sun dogs because they follow the Sun around.

The Earth’s equivalent are known as “Paparazzi”.

I listened to a programme on Radio 4 last night that told me (children and impressionable adults look away now) you can stare at the Sun for thirty minutes if you are high on cocaine, I think it was, and not suffer any lasting retinal damage because your pupils are already dilated, I think it was (I wasn’t paying attention, if I’m honest).  It is commonly known as ‘Actus Moronus’. 

Don’t try it at home; I don’t want to read about you in The Sun.

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My First Six Word Saturday

28 May
Mr. Sunshine (2010 TV series)

Image via Wikipedia


The sun – I’ve heard of it.


Here in Stockport we hardly ever see the sun.  Clouds nestle on the Pennines and seep into the sky all around like a bad smell in a lift. 

We’re almost at the end of May and there’s no sign of sunshine.  I never thought I’d miss a drought, but I do: at least droughts are cheerful.

Read more Six Word Saturdays at Show My Face.

Holiday’s A-Comin’

17 Aug

The Sun newspaper may be regularly derided and vilified but ten million readers will agree that they have great offers. Page 3 Girl Lucinda Lexicona from Luton declares ‘I asseverate that Sun readers are indebted to the editor’s munificence and much esteem their £9.50 caravan holidays.’

Not having had a holiday together in twelve years (and that was a disaster never to be spoken of again while the Hub and I are breathing…ssh! He’s coming), we thought it might be a good idea to splash out a tenner each for the four of us.

I bought the paper and saved the vouchers and we were all set to go when it suddenly occurred to us that we probably couldn’t take our dogs to stay in Pontins’ holiday flats. We were right. Mightily disappointed but not prepared to send our pets to kennels that cost more per night than we were paying for the week, we put away our sun block (for holding the door open to let in a little rain) and thunk again.

Thinking not being our thing, we were relieved when The Sun rode to our rescue with a fresh plan: cut out these here noo vouchers and you can go camping (at a camp site that allows dogs) for £1 a night. We simply had to phone our chosen camp site, book it, and pay up front.

We upgraded to a stand with electricity and mentioned the dogs and a week’s camping holiday in Abergele with our dogs and however many of our kids can tolerate our snoring in October when it’s turning cold(er) and wet(ter) after this delightful summer of leaky skies, will cost us a grand total of £25.

Now all we have to do is buy a tent.

Save A Life: Spit In A Cup

31 Jul

I am on the Anthony Nolan bone marrow register.  They organise bone marrow transplants for people with leukemia and they have a new campaign, asking each potential donor (me) to recruit four new potential donors (you) over the next four months (then).  It’s called 4×4 – possibly the only time a 4×4 is believed to have saved the planet instead of killing it.

It couldn’t be easier to register: no blood samples, no visits to the doctor; just spit in one of these 

   and send it off.

There are over 400, 000 donors on the register but that’s not enough as only half of the patients waiting for a transplant are a match.  The campaign is trying to up the number of donors to a million.  The criteria for joining the register are as follows:

  • be 18 – 40
  • and reasonably healthy

It’s simple to join:

  • complete an online application form in 15 minutes
  • give a saliva sample – don’t worry, you don’t spit in an envelope; they’ll send you a small kit

The register is desperately in need of men (aren’t we all?) and people from ethnic minorities in particular, so come on, stop being a wuss and spit in a cup for your Auntie Tilly and a whole bunch of dying people who will be eternally grateful to you.

By the way, don’t think you can get out of it if you are not resident in the UK: many countries have their own register.  I hope at the very least you are blood donors and, hopefully, registered organ donors.

And if I still haven’t convinced you, think of the poor little boy who died and gave his name to the register; his mother worked tirelessly to set it up and the least we can do is spit in a cup for them. 


And in other news

Biggest non-story of the year: The Sun announces that Joe McElderry is gay.  Tell us something we don’t know.   Better yet, tell us something we want to know, like when his album is coming out.

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