When I’m Not Cleaning Windows

Image by tassie.sim via Flickr

Do you think you need another social network?

No.  That’s what the school gate is for.

Do you prefer the aisle or window when traveling? Why?

Aisle.  So I’m first off the plane when we crash.

Find the nearest window.

I knew the WordPress prompters would get me in the end.

Oh wait, no need to panic after all:

Find the nearest window. Look outside: what do you see when you look through it?

I see an urgent need to clean it.  I thought it was dark in here.  You know how I’m always complaining that it’s not sunny?  I think I may have found a solution…

If you started your own nation, what rules would be in your constitution?

The unemployed (excluding me, because it’s my nation; my rules) have to clean the windows of the less fortunate; and me.

Why do some people’s dreams get realized, and others don’t?

Unrealistic expectations.  What chance do I have of starting my own nation? 

It’s not fair; now I’ll never have clean windows.

*

*

Two More Bits

Defenestration.  Sounds like something that might be a bit naughty, doesn’t it?  It is, in a way.  It is the act of throwing a person out of a window.  Isn’t it bizarre that there should be a word for it?  I can understand words like knifing, shooting, tickling, but defenestrating?  It’s not even as threatening as it ought to be: tell someone you’re going to to knife them or throw them out of a window and the old bladder will start tickling, but how terrified would you be if someone told you, ‘Give me your Barbie doll collection, Ken, or I’m going to defenestrate you’?  I’m thinking not much.*

**

I remembered this morning that I haven’t shared the poem that Spud wrote for Mother’s Day, so here it is in all its wonderful glory and iffy spelling, excluding the ink blotches:

  

What more can I say, you brighten up my day.

When the school day starts, your cooking skills are sharp.

Crumpets, cereal or toast, I’ve got right to boast.

I know raising me is hard, which is why I got you an expensive card.

Of all the things you do, there’s no way I could re-pay you,

But wearing my SGS crest, I’ll just have to do my best.

When I’m feeling down, you’re there to kill my frown,

And when my mood is up, you’re there to back me up.

Then on Christmas day you get me a TV-A.

Forever making me the perfect ever Tea.

I love it when we talk, as we go for walks.

I love you oh so much and your special motherly touch.

You’ll be there when I’m shy, and if I need to cry.

I hope you’re always happy and never feeling crappy.

And when I’m old and grey and on my dieing day,

I’ll look back to when I was a kid and thankyou for all you did.

Child

 

Mummy

 You can see why I spent the morning of Mother’s Day blubbing into my Maltesers.

 

 

*Habit of a lifetime, I’m afraid.