Joke 761

A WORD TO THE WIVES ON HOW TO KEEP HUSBANDS HAPPY (Photo credit: strph)

Aussie Barbecue Season

After long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it’s the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the Barbecue, usually on a Saturday, the following chain of events are put into motion:

Barbecue Routine

• The woman buys the food.
• The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
• The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
• Here comes the important part:  
• THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
• The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
• The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
• Important again:
• THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
• The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
• After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
• And most important of all:  
• Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
• The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women….

Thanks to Will & Guy for this one.

Joke 441

Some chicken, pork and corn in the barbeque (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

After long months of cold and rain, barbecue season is finally upon us.  It is important to understand barbecue etiquette: a man likes to barbecue because there is an element of danger.

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• The woman buys the food.
• The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
• The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
• The man places the meat on the barbecue.
• The woman organises plates and cutlery.
• The woman delivers salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces to the table.
• The woman informs the man that the meat is burning.
• The man thanks the woman and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
• The woman brings the man another beer.
• The man takes the meat off the barbecue.  He gives it to the woman.
• The woman delivers the meat to the table in an attractive covered dish.
• After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
• Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his cooking.
• The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off.
• The man, wearing an attractive covered dish as a groin cover, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some people.

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