Tag Archives: Babies

We Are A Grandmother

5 Dec

Glory Boy, proving that children have their uses: providing us with more children; the kind we can spoil, give back, and let get away with all the things we forbade their parents to do.

The post title: I think Margaret Thatcher was misunderstood in this instance. My bet is that in her excitement, she meant to say either, ‘We are grandparents’ or, ‘I am a grandmother’ but got the two muddled up and ended up using the Royal ‘We’.

Becoming a grandparent is rather like being royal, after all: someone else does the behind the scenes work; we just have to show up and be applauded.

Here’s my beautiful new grandson: now let the applause begin.

Look What I Did!

18 Apr

 

Somebody went to hospital twenty-five years ago and all they brought back was this lousy mountain man.

DSCF4248

Happy birthday, Hairy Boy.

Love you xx

Joke 924

3 Oct

Some Royal baby jokes from Twitter, via The Huffington Post (don’t ever complain that I’m not on the cutting edge of news…)

Little fat belly kitten baby

Little fat belly kitten baby (Photo credit: Eleventh Earl of Mar)

  • Royal baby latest: Kate Middleton is 10cm dilated and the midwife can see the silver spoon.  @HylandIan
  • Prince William’s heir is falling out.   @thegianttweets
  • Trending in his first five minutes of life. Talk about peaking early. 
  • “More like Your Cryness.” – the royal gynecologist, using a joke he’s been sitting on for years. @

    kumailn

  • In a year’s time, Kate will find some porridge on the inside of her bra & realise her son has just eaten 4 cat biscuits. I guarantee it.  Laura Mugridge
  • With 1 out of every 3 kids in the UK born into poverty there must be two sets of parents feeling really unlucky right now.   @TiernanDouieb  
  • If the #RoyalBaby sees its shadow there will be six more weeks of Downton Abbey.  @CollegeHumor   
  • Tomorrow’s headlines GUARDIAN: It’s a boy! TELEGRAPH: It’s a boy! DAILYMAIL: Has Kate lost the baby weight yet?  @TechnicallyRon  
  • If it’s a ten pound baby it’ll have the Queen’s head on it.  @mrnickharvey  
  • I don’t want to speculate about the royal baby’s name, but I’m pretty sure it will start with #.   @MooseAllain

 

The Laughing Baby

2 Aug

Fridays are now The Friday Laugh day.  Here’s today’s:

 

Joke 844

15 Jul
the_dos_and_donts_with_babies_013

the_dos_and_donts_with_babies_013 (Photo credit: DrJohnBullas)

One evening Jessica found her husband Mike with his head cocked looking at their baby’s cot.  Silently she watched him.

As Mike twisted and turned looking at their infant, Jessica could see on Mike’s face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, joy, surprise, enchantment and scepticism.

Mike did not usually show his emotions and his unusual display brought tears to her eyes.  Jessica put her arm around her husband and gently asked, “A penny for your thoughts.”

“It’s amazing!” Mike replied. “I just can’t work out how Mothercare are able to make a cot like that for only £49.99.”

Joke 672

24 Jan

Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labour and began to yell, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?

She was having contractions.

*

*

From writersjokes.  

 

Joke 665

17 Jan

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

English: A sleeping male baby with his arm ext...

English: A sleeping male baby with his arm extended (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your pregnancy is confirmed.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don’t bother practising because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries

1st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Dummy/Pacifier

1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Nappies/Diapers

1st baby: You change your baby’s nappies every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their nappy every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, BabySwing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

From 101jokes.com

Worldly Winds

It's not easy being me!

Vivinfrance's Blog

mainly poetry, also quilts, pictures, life-writing and the occasional short story.

Unpicked:Restitched

Where is the heart of Stockport?

The Jog

notices and reflections in ministry

The Cvillean

The adventures of little read writing Hood

Guernsey Evacuees Oral History

An Overlooked British Evacuation

%d bloggers like this: