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Happy Birthday, Spud

15 Jan

Spud is nineteen today.  Happy birthday, my little potato cake.

He got there despite all the roasting I’ve given him, half-baked parent that I am. To be fair, though, I never beet him; and I yam a loving mother to my sweet potato.

He’s a chip off the old block because he’s a Golden Wonder to me, and never grates my nerves, fries my beans or sets me boiling.  I’ve done my best to raise a good crop and he hasn’t given me any hasselback, despite the many downright hash browns I’ve made.  We’ve had a lot of fun and latke, that’s for sure; though I sometimes leave him steaming, but that’s no skin off my nose.  Still, I don’t want to be peeling him off the walls.  He is my King Edward, after all; and he who pays the Maris Piper calls the tune.

Well, I’d better go – I hear him gnocching but he can’t come in because I’m typing this.  I don’t want him stewing; that will leave me having to sauté him out and it is his birthday.

Happy birthday, my darling little tater tot.  Here’s a birthday mashup for you:

 

Something To Keep You Going

21 Oct

The painting is done but it’s taking as long to move in my stuff, arrange my books and pictures and so on as it took to decorate.  By way of apology for my continued absence, here’s a repost that I thought you might enjoy.

My First Mondegreen

A mondegreen is a mishearing of a phrase.  It was so named by Sylvia Wright, who misheard a line in a poem.  From Wikipedia:

In the essay, Wright described how, as a young girl, she misheard the last line of the first stanza from the 17th-century ballad “The Bonny Earl O’Moray“. She wrote:

 When I was a child, my mother used to read aloud to me from “Percy’s Reliques“, and one of my favorite poems began, as I remember:
 
Ye Highlands and ye Lowlands,
Oh, where hae ye been?
They hae slain the Earl O’ Moray,
And Lady Mondegreen.
 

 The actual fourth line is “And laid him on the green”. Wright explained the need for a new term:

The point about what I shall hereafter call mondegreens, since no one else has thought up a word for them, is that they are better than the original.
 

Other examples Wright suggested are:

  • Surely Good Mrs. Murphy shall follow me all the days of my life (“Surely goodness and mercy…” from Psalm 23)
  • The wild, strange battle cry “Haffely, Gaffely, Gaffely, Gonward.” (“Half a league, half a league, / Half a league onward,” from “The Charge of the Light Brigade“)

I experienced my first mondegreen as a child, courtesy of Kenny Rogers’ song, Lucille:

You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille,
With four hundred children and a crop in the field.

I thought, ‘Four hundred children?  No wonder she left him.’  The line is actually,With four hungry children.

My second mondegreen came from the carol, Good King Wenceslas:

Good King Wensess last had gout

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Here are a few more you might find amusing:

  • From: I’ve Had the Time of My LifeNow I’ve had a time with your wife
  • From: Ticket To Ride – She’s got a chicken to fry
  • From: Abracadabra – Abra Abra Cadabra… I wanna freak out and stab ya
  • From: The Christmas Song – Jeff’s nuts roasting on an open fire, check for snipping at your nose
  • From God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen – Get dressed ye married gentlemen, let nothing through this May

You’ll find more here http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/humor/mondegreens.asp and here http://www.kissthisguy.com/

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How about you?  Have you got any mondegreens to share?

Googling Myself

12 Mar

It’s not that I’m vain, or anything, but I do occasionally Google my name (okay, I am vain; but can you blame me with this hair?).  At least I don’t check to see if I’ve got a Wikipedia page – no, really, I don’t, honest…

I have to Goggle myself when I’m submitting poems, because so many editors exclude poems already published online, even if it was on my now defunct poetry blogs which can no longer be accessed.

I Gaggled four poems and my name this morning and I was disappointed to find one of them in the 2010 comments section of a poetry blog, which means I can’t use it.  

The Haggle brought up a pleasant surprise, however – which isn’t always a given when you Giggle yourself; all I’m going to say is tea bags/washing line/shame…. Fortunately, I’m such a prolific blogger that the embarrassing photo is hidden way down in my Boggle listing.  

I discovered that a poem published by English Pen last year in their Dictionary of Made-Up Words was featured on their website earlier this year, as part of an ongoing promotion of the book.  I didn’t know it was there.  I’m chuffed!

Even better – it was retweeted!  It’s nice to be twit.

You may say it was coincidence, but I think it’s strange that I didn’t come across this poem until I had my hair cut.  I’m like an anti-Samson: all of my power was consumed by my long hair; now it’s short, I’m discovering my work in the ether and being invited to take part in poetry events which may or may not come off so I can’t say anything at the moment…except that the invites were issued after the haircut…

So, do you Wriggle yourself?  Or are you afraid to discover dirty little secrets of yours hiding out there in the ether?  Are there photos of you drunk at a party? Taking an illicit beach day from work?  Wearing flares?

I’ll find out, you know, when I Ogle you.

Six Correct Words Saturday

3 Aug

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Last night, I dreamed about grammar.

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I need to find a life.  Or at least a hobby.

Photo: “Like” if you understand the appropriate use of capital letters and of exclamation marks.

Photo: Grammarly Lite—Spellchecker Designed For The Web. http://bit.ly/GLite8

Photo: Be careful with your commas, kids!

Images from Grammarly’s Facebook page.

Joke 792

24 May

English Words With Quirky Logic

  • There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger.

    Guinea Pig baby. About 8 hours old.

    Guinea Pig baby. About 8 hours old. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Have you noticed that there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple?
  • English muffins weren’t invented in England.
  • French fries do not originate in France.
  • A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
  • There are no hogs in Hogmanay.
  • Why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
  • You cannot buy boots in Boots. You cannot buy threshers in Threshers.  The Superdrug chain is a big disappointment.
  • Quicksand only works slowly
  • If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
  • If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
  • If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
  • Sweetmeats are sweets while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

From Will & Guy.

Talk, Task & Just Too Weird

19 Apr
[victorian child care]

[victorian child care] (Photo credit: RHiNO NEAL)

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A conversation after the zugzwang of yesterday’s post:

Me [puzzled and a little distressed]: I wrote a really lovely post for Tory Boy’s birthday.  It was supposed to be funny, but it was nice instead.

Hub [genuinely sympathetic]: Aw, never mind, sweetie.

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Less words…

Less words… (Photo credit: shtikl)

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Today is the last day of my 26 words in 26 posts challenge.  

I succeeded!

If by ‘succeeded’ I mean, ‘Didn’t include joke posts and there was one day when I forgot to include a new word.’

I hope you enjoyed learning 26 new words and their meanings which, if you are anything like me, you will immediately have forgotten.

To refresh your memory, here are the last three words of the challenge:

Xu: an aluminum* coin of Vietnam, the 100th part of a dong.

*aluminium, if you speak English.

Ylem: the original substance of the universe from which all matter is said to be derived.  So that’s where babies come from…

Zugzwang: a position in which one player can move only with loss or severe disadvantage i.e. there’s no getting around it – yesterday’s post was bad for my image.

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E-collar

E-collar (Photo credit: sean94110)

Today’s WordPress prompt:

In the DC comics universe, a planet called “Htrae” (“Earth” spelled backwards) is populated with bizarre versions of superheroes. A Seinfeld episode made the idea of this Bizarro World popular, where the characters encountered their opposite selves.

Craft a scene in which you meet an opposite version of yourself — or a story in a bizarre, backwards world.

Welcome, welcome, Laughing Housewife, to our WordPress Prompters’ office. We love your responses to our prompts and enjoy the way you poke fun at us, without mercy or regard for your blog’s safety.

Thank you, Dear WordPress Prompter, I replied; I came to inform you, however, that I regret my past arrows through your hearts and have decided to cease tormenting yo…

I’m sorry, dear readers: some worlds are so bizarre that my head explodes even thinking about it.

 

Can I Have A Word?

17 Mar
Neologism generator

Neologism generator (Photo credit: Peter Forret)

Yesterday’s word was mundify: to cleanse, deterge (yes, that is a real word), purge or purify.  In other words, what I need to do after watching the Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer shows.

Try as I might, I couldn’t fit today’s word into a reblog about household tips, so I have given it a post of its own:

NEOTERISM

Because I don’t like you coming here and not working, I’m going to give you a task.

If you’ve been around here a while, you may have noticed I play fast and loose with the English language, coining new words for convenience and then never using them again.

There is one word, however, which I invented and which I continue to use, in the hope that one day I will come across it somewhere at random, entirely unrelated to me, and know that I am the mother of a successful neologism.
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My word is:
TECHNEPTITUDE
or
TECHNEPT

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To be inept in the use of modern technology; one who is inept in the use of modern technology (specifically, her new mobile phone, eighteen months old, and of which she realised only recently, despite using it every day, that it was a touch screen). 

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"Technology has exceeded our humanity"

“Technology has exceeded our humanity” (Photo credit: Toban B.)

Here is your task:

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Tell me what word you have invented, with its definition and a sentence demonstrating its use.*

If you haven’t invented a word, now’s your chance!
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My sentence:
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I can’t turn this blasted phone on [sounds of smashing pink technology].  I am such a [insert swear word of choice; I don’t, so I can’t.  More work for you] technept!
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