Twilight: I Hope Bella Remembered To Shave

24 Jan

WARNING!

PLOT SPOILER ALERT!

 

Cover of "Twilight (Two-Disc Special Edit...

Cover of Twilight (Two-Disc Special Edition)

 

Contemplating my blunt Bic yesterday, and whether it was worth getting out of the shower for a fresh razor (I still have 273 left of the thousand my Dad left when he died back in 2000) or to stay half hairy until my next ablutions, it occurred to me that if Bella didn’t shave the night before she was changed into a vampire – and there is, unaccountably, no record in the book that she did – then she was going to be stuck with fluffy armpits for eternity.  For a female vampire, that would suck.

In Twilight‘s world, vampires are frozen in time, with the same likes, dislikes, looks (the same, but amplified to remove the dross and highlight the gorgeous) and hair.  I know this for a fact, because I have watched the first Twilight film 117 times since Christmas, and Edward Cullen (the delicious Robert Pattinson) has hairy arms and chest in every scene where he shows his hairy arms and chest.

Obsession has its usefulness – Bella got Edward in the end; Edward got Bella in the end, and I got to notice Robert Pattinson’s hair.  His other hair; the one that inspired Jedward:

 

37 Responses to “Twilight: I Hope Bella Remembered To Shave”

  1. gigihawaii January 24, 2012 at 12:25 #

    Hairy topic. Lol. Maybe, it’s because I am post-menopausal, but my legs and armpits are hairless. No need to shave anymore. Anybody else experience this phenomenon???

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 24, 2012 at 12:27 #

      Well that’s something to look forward to!

      Like

    • viv blake January 24, 2012 at 12:41 #

      No – it’s spread to my chin. The original bearded lady, that’s me!

      Like

    • puddinggirl January 24, 2012 at 13:40 #

      Hmm.. I wonder if all female specie would have the same side effects during menopausal days… 🙂

      Like

  2. puddinggirl January 24, 2012 at 13:42 #

    I can’t stop laughing and getting worried if the fine hairs growing by the curl of my lip will get worse? Good thing I am not a vampire!

    Like

  3. colonialist January 24, 2012 at 13:46 #

    Reminds me of the old song or whatever about the damsel with beautiful hair all the way down her back – pity none grew on her head.

    Like

  4. sanstorm January 24, 2012 at 13:54 #

    Static characters? No character development then. Is the story not … rubbish?

    Like

  5. laurieanichols January 24, 2012 at 14:55 #

    I can always depend on you Tilly to give the proper perspective on immortal life. If you want to look good forever you had better book yourself a day’s worth of treatment at the spa and then surrender yourself. I have also become less hairy as the years go by except for my hair so if I get bitten spontaneously by the odd vampire running around in Western Mass. I should be okay.

    Like

  6. TLS January 24, 2012 at 15:46 #

    This made me laugh so much. You always make me laugh!! 🙂

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 24, 2012 at 16:00 #

      And these are the only compliments that don’t get you banned 🙂 Thanks.

      Like

  7. musings January 24, 2012 at 16:07 #

    Hmmmm… how interesting. My legs are pretty hairless, but not my armpits. That would have been nice.

    I’ve seen the first Twilight. I’ve been told the book is even better.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 24, 2012 at 16:10 #

      It pretty much sticks to the book, just shuffles things around a bit.

      Like

  8. Brenda January 24, 2012 at 16:43 #

    NOW … only you would come up with something like this!

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 26, 2012 at 13:02 #

      Not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult 😀

      Like

  9. Pseu January 24, 2012 at 19:35 #

    117 x 2 hrs = 134 hrs
    134 hrs divided by 24 hrs = approx 5.5 whole days of film watching.

    Days since Christmas = 30
    Number of times you’d need to watch a film in 1 day to match this number =
    117 divided by 30
    that’s Nearly 4 times a day.

    Nah

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 26, 2012 at 13:03 #

      Okay, you got me…or do you…? Perhaps I just watched the scenes with the hairy arms and chest 117 times…

      Like

      • Pseu January 26, 2012 at 15:16 #

        🙂 🙂

        I like a hairy chest. On a man.

        Like

  10. bearrunner January 24, 2012 at 19:43 #

    I think I was mad by the end… Thats why I needed a drink ha

    cheers

    Like

  11. SchmidleysScribbling January 24, 2012 at 22:18 #

    To Gigi and Tilly. The problem is not the hair you lose, its the hair you gain. No I don’t shave my legs any more, but I have to do something with this new moustache. Dianne

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 26, 2012 at 13:06 #

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…tweezers!

      Like

  12. kateshrewsday January 24, 2012 at 22:39 #

    I’m glad someone else has those razor moments. Shall I? Shan’t I?

    Like

  13. Pseu January 24, 2012 at 23:57 #

    Extra growth on a ladies lip isn’t ‘moustache’ – those little dark hairs are lip lashes (Scout’s definition)

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 26, 2012 at 13:08 #

      That boy will go far with women 🙂

      Like

      • Pseu January 26, 2012 at 15:17 #

        you may be right – but not yet 🙂

        Like

  14. Pat Bean January 25, 2012 at 18:26 #

    I gave this blog a Bean’s Pat, and mentioned it on my blog today. I love it when someone makes me laugh out loud — and you did.

    Like

  15. Tom (Aquatom1968) January 25, 2012 at 21:38 #

    I must be frozen in time, Tilly, as I never have any problems whatsoever with my hair at all. Ever. And I do debate with myself as to whether I should shave or not…

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 26, 2012 at 13:14 #

      Tom the Vampire? It has a nice ring to it.

      Like

  16. eof737 January 27, 2012 at 11:28 #

    Love that hair..He’s handsome. 😉

    Like

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I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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