Sofa Surfeit

26 May

It’s that time of decade.  We last bought a new couch in 1993. I wish I was kidding; I’m not.  We’ve had new-to-us couches since then: a lot of new-to us couches, bought secondhand or given to us or donated by Freegle or inherited from dead parents; but we have not bought a new one since 1993.

We have had a couch each for some years now – unmatched in size, shape, style or fabric.  We sold some stuff and saved and eventually we had enough dosh for two new couches.  I demanded only identical couches with no space underneath for junk storage or stale dog pellets; the Hub demanded comfort.  As usual, I got my way.  As usual, he didn’t.

We found two lovely couches in a shop on eBay – style, colour, everything perfect. They arrived.  They were installed.  They look fabulous in the lounge.  They give you backache within five minutes of sitting on them.  The arms are too low; the back too not right in any way that counts with a couch.

We arranged a refund – hooray for seven-day returns policies! – covered them up for protection until next week’s collection, and  went out the very next day and purchased two beautiful, matching, comfortable couches from a shop, where we were able to sit as long as we liked, testing their efficacy.  They efficked just fine and all we had to do was sign on the dotted line and wait four weeks for delivery.

And so that’s how we find ourselves in the unique position of owning six couches but unable to sit on any of them: two are rain-soaked in the garden, awaiting a man in a van to take them to the dump; two are under covers in the lounge, awaiting collection (possession being nine-tenths of the law, they are ours until they are gone); two are currently under construction in a warehouse somewhere, desperate for a loving home.

Meanwhile, this six-sofa couple is sitting on tatty old deck chairs in the living room.

You couldn’t make it up.

24 Responses to “Sofa Surfeit”

  1. Janie Jones May 26, 2016 at 15:39 #

    I last bought a new sofa in 2008. I bought two that year actually. Both are at Leif’s farm now and both have been destroyed by dogs, children, and/or man smudge. One of the two I really liked, I found it very comfortable and a nice size. I am a short person, and to me many sofas seem to be jumbo sized, but this one was scaled nicely for me. It also is one I am particularly fond of because within a few short days of purchase the spud, then aged three and a half, scribbled all over it in black magic marker. I managed to get it all out so you wouldn’t notice if you didn’t know, but let me tell you it was an ordeal. Almost like giving birth. And now there is a dinner plate sized hole in it from one or more 9 German shepherd puppies.

    I cannot wait to have a house of my own again and be able to buy new sofas. This time, no dogs, children or men will ruin them… At least that’s the plan.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife May 26, 2016 at 15:52 #

      Oh no! Kids! Ours are grown up and mostly out of the house now, so that’s good; and the previous new couch was black, so no marks showed.

      It’s so great to hear from you. I finally accessed your new blog but comments are closed and I couldn’t find a subscribe button 😦


      • Janie Jones May 26, 2016 at 19:38 #

        I’ve sort of given up on the blog until I figure out where I want to move it to… I’m getting closer to being able to devote some time to that project though, I have finally graduated! Huzzah!! Now I just need a permanent job. I’ve been fortunate to get some temporary work that is keeping me busy at present. Never a dull moment!

        Good to hear from you, too! Hugs, Janie

        Liked by 1 person

  2. judyt54 May 26, 2016 at 15:49 #

    Couches have a special place in our lives, not always pleasant. I wish you both joy in your couch adventures.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Al May 26, 2016 at 16:13 #

    I’m going to couch my words carefully here….at least when the Hub gets in hot water he’ll have quite a selection for sleeping quarters.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. slpmartin May 26, 2016 at 16:27 #

    Hmm…some folks collect stamps or old gold coins…I believe you are the first that I know of that has taken to collecting sofas…once again continuing your unique journey through life. 🙂


  5. laurieanichols May 26, 2016 at 17:07 #

    Always a hilarious adventure with you Tilly dearest! Our couches are about the same age as your old ones, our’s date from 1995, they have served their purpose but I am milking every single gram of their existence because with the three dogs I don’t want to invest in brand new couches to have them taken over by our canine babies. Do Toby and Molly get to sit on the couches? I was so happy to see your post in my inbox 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife June 20, 2016 at 21:50 #

      They are allowed to sit on them but they can no longer bring toys/chews/pellets etc.

      Actually, thinking about it, I know now why we needed new couches in the first place…

      Liked by 1 person

  6. May 26, 2016 at 20:42 #

    Until we came here three years ago, we were still delighting in two sofas which I bought in 1982. They had loose covers I could wash, and apart from the patches I was obliged to add to disguise the loose threads raised by a determined cat, they still looked as good as new, and were passed on to friends-in-need.

    Looking forward to seeing photos of your new luxe.
    ViV xox

    Liked by 1 person

  7. sharechair May 27, 2016 at 16:25 #

    Enjoy those new couches! So glad you learned quickly that your first purchase wasn’t comfy. Same fears for mattresses ……. hate to buy those!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Musings May 28, 2016 at 05:57 #

    It’s so hard to find the perfect sofa. We bought my mother a new sofa (for her family room) and after a while she didn’t like it (because it was too high). We switched it with the old sofa in the livingroom and she was happy.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Tom Merriman May 28, 2016 at 21:28 #

    At least they aren’t all in the same room, Tilly. That would be sofa hell!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. anotherday2paradise May 29, 2016 at 17:26 #

    Thanks for the laugh, Tilly. I guess you wouldn’t want to get melted Maltesers on the sofas which you’ve sold. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. SchmidleysScribblins June 1, 2016 at 19:16 #

    I thought I left a comment earlier, but it seems to have gone astray. Anyway, a funny post. My daughter has several sofas also, his, hers both grandma’s and my old sofas, etc. She also has nine dogs, so the sofas come in handy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Laughing Housewife June 20, 2016 at 21:45 #

      I’ll say!

      Our dogs are confused because all of a sudden they’re not allowed to bring anything up onto the couches. With what they cost and the palaver in getting them, the dogs will just have to stay confused.


  12. Rorybore June 15, 2016 at 04:49 #

    Ha! Sounds like my first month in an apartment at university when my new roommate and I had to wait until all our school stuff was paid for, to see how much money we had left for actual furniture. Thankfully the nice boys across the hall built us a small couch AND a “coffee” table out of all their empty beer cases. Yes, that is a lot of beer. 24 beers to a case and probably well over 50 cases. Between 6 men. They’re Canadian – that’s all the excuse I got.

    Liked by 1 person

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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