Joke 636

19 Dec

  • One good thing about Christmas shopping – it toughens you up for the January sales. – Grace Kriley
  • Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it.  Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. – Richard Lamm
  • Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. – Author unknown
  • From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. – Katharine Whitehorn
  • The magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfuly wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. – O. Henry
  • Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included. – English Proverb
  • Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. – Dave Barry

From about.com.

 

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23 Responses to “Joke 636”

  1. terry1954 December 19, 2012 at 04:03 #

    loved reading your blog

    Like

  2. slpmartin December 19, 2012 at 04:30 #

    Love the second one!

    Like

  3. siggiofmaine December 19, 2012 at 06:22 #

    Love the last one best…but will share them all…great post.

    Like

  4. Judith Atwood December 19, 2012 at 06:39 #

    Great — but then how can you go wrong with Dave Barry?

    Like

  5. vivinf rance December 19, 2012 at 08:47 #

    How did that bloke at the top manage to stick that bow on? It’s even straight and in the middle. I can’t imagine a WAG doing it for him.

    Like

  6. Gabrielle Bryden December 19, 2012 at 08:48 #

    That guy must be very brave or can handle himself well (guy with the Christmas tree and bow on the back of his head – haha)

    Like

  7. vivinf rance December 19, 2012 at 08:49 #

    Oi, Tilly: Why is my comment in moderation?

    Like

  8. kiwidutch December 19, 2012 at 09:57 #

    Apparently I live in the “good old days”: we have a budget for Christmas and we even though we could afford to if we wanted to, we don’t spend past it. (I thought that was called “common sense” LOL)
    The car park one was good… not that I have a “mall” where I live, but old narrow European shopping streets aren’t much better (That’s why like the majority of Dutch, I send Himself out on his bike…. also called “common sense” LOL).

    Like

  9. sharechair December 19, 2012 at 13:27 #

    Budget? ha. I give it a thought (but it’s a brief thought)… a budget never works for Christmas, here. We overdo everything … oodles of food, gifts, and wacky family games.

    Like

  10. viveka December 19, 2012 at 15:09 #

    Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. – Richard Lamm
    My favorite …. Great stuff.,

    Like

  11. vastlycurious.com December 19, 2012 at 15:17 #

    LOVE THIS!! Where did you find it? Can I use it please? Kathryn

    Like

  12. robincoyle December 20, 2012 at 01:06 #

    That David Barry makes me laugh. I stalked someone in the parking lot yesterday. The Magi made me do it.

    Like

  13. Grannymar December 20, 2012 at 16:51 #

    All I need between now and new year is a loaf of bread and I’ll get that tomorrow. I hate supermarkets at this time of year where everyone wants to dig me in the anklesw with their trolleys.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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