Joke 896

Bumper Stickers (Photo credit: _rockinfree)

Bumper Stickers

• I love animals.  They taste great.
• EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.
• Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
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  Cool Bumper Sticker (Photo credit: Tim Patterson)

  Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

• A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now. 
• I won’t rise to the occasion, but I’ll slide over to it. 
• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. 
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 
• Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. 
• Okay, who put a “stop payment” on my reality check? 
• Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. 
• We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? 
• All generalizations are false, including this one. 
• I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
• We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. 
• Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. 
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

Bumper sticker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

From ahajokes.com