Wind Me Up

Image by @Doug88888 via Flickr

Wind.  Cold.  Gale.  Frightening.

The Hub said walking in the park today was like lifting the covers when he gets into bed with me.

The weather reminds me of the Christmas Eve years ago when there was a gale and our six-foot-high garden fence blew down.  Our cat had followed the Hub out to help him investigate, when a gust blew her right across the street.  She ran off.

A couple of hours later the phone rang; the Hub answered it, chatted for a bit, then hung up.

‘Who was that?’ I asked.

‘The cat.  She just phoned to say she was in Birmingham.’

I didn’t believe him, of course: although I was unaware that he’d let her in earlier and she was snug in her basket, every body knows cats can’t use the telephone.  She’d have sent a letter.

Joke 285

Thanks to Paula for this joke.

Late one night, a man was driving along a lonely country road and experienced a car problem that he could not fix himself.  Not too far in the distance, he noticed the lights from the window of a farmhouse. He walked to the farmhouse in hopes that the inhabitants would give him aid.

He knocked on the door and a rather large pig with only three legs came running up to give him the “once over”.  The farmer opened the door and invited the gentleman in, and allowed him to use his telephone to call for help with his car. The pig had followed him into the house and, while he was waiting for the help to arrive, the man inquired of the farmer about his unusual three-legged pig.

“Oh!” the farmer said. “That is one incredible, fantastic pig! Not only is he a ‘watch-pig,’ he once even saved our lives! One night, he managed to wake us all up before our house caught fire. The barn was fully engulfed in flames, and the wind was blowing sparks in the direction of the house. The pig broke through our door and went to each of our beds and woke us up to get us out of the house in time to save our house and our lives!”

“Amazing!” said the visitor.

 “Yes! And he seems to know when our visitors are friendly or just travelling salesmen or in the mood for trouble! He’s chased off lots of ne’er do wells,” the farmer recounted.

“So, tell me Sir, why does your pig have only three legs? Did he lose it in the fire, or was he injured protecting you from some bad folks?”

“Oh, no, Sonny! You see, when you get a pig this good, you don’t eat him all at once.”