Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam

 

SPAM! [don’t buy] (Photo credit: داود)

I have a serving of spam to share with you, but first, this one is not spam, it just caught my eye:

From the Arts Council:

Job – Head of Patrons, Maternity Cover – Tate Britain.

My dicky eyes misread it as:

Head of Matrons, Paternity Cover.

Quite a different job!

Spam comes in various forms: abuse, compliments and porn being the most common.  To find a territorial spammer was fun:

Move along folks, nothing to see here, just marking my spot.

Now for the abuse:

someone needs to smack you in the face

It caught my attention because of the name, and the apology that followed:

Eimear Gobshite (sorry)

If you don’t get it, try saying it out loud, remembering that it’s not pronounced, Ee-mare.

This next person is obviously not a regular – how many more times could I post on my blog without being mistaken for a spammer myself?

If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more information?

Here’s one I liked:

This is the type of material that really should gain worldwide recognition pertaining to its workmanship.

I cannot disagree.

This one slapped me on the back with one hand and in the face with the other:

Hi! Best prostitute of St. Petersburg!!!

And finally, in the words of my favourite spam ever,

Lofty bye, genial friend

*

8

Joke 409

A flat automobile tire. Français : Une crevaison. Русский: Сдутая шина. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Four high school boys skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to their teacher, claiming they were late because they’d had a flat tyre.

She didn’t seem too concerned and simply said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, “First question: which tyre was flat?”