Joke 559

Thanks to Granny1947 for this one.

Unidentified Flying Object (Photo credit: eisenrah)

Points to Ponder

• I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
• Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
• The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
• Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
• All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
• How is it one careless match can start a bushfire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’
• Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there? I’m going to eat the next thing that comes out of its backside.’
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you; but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
• Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?