The Horse Babbler

A message for new readers: every couple of days, I take a random selection of Daily Post prompts and attempt to answer them in a serious manner.

horse (Photo credit: possan)

Link to an item in the news you’ve been thinking about lately, and write the op-ed you’d like to see published on the topic.

Horsemeat Found In Frozen Burgers

Op Ed:

Stop complaining!  The French are laughing at us.

Besides, you never really believed there was any actual meat in processed burgers, did you?  This is a step up.

*

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve given someone that you failed to take yourself?

NEVER make fun of the WordPress prompters; they know your host.

*

Open your nearest book to page 82. Take the third full sentence on the page, and work it into a post somehow.

The third full sentence in the book nearest to me is taken from Grace Nichols’ Everybody Got A Gift:

poop po-doop
poop-poop po-doop
poop po-doop
poop-poop po-doop

She has such a way with words.

*

Winner of the Silly Face Contest (Photo credit: Linda Hartman.)

Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding, belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?

A WordPress prompter got into the lift with me one day.  Given my relentless tormenting of the evil creature, I was terrified. Fortunately, however, I was thinking about Grace Nichol’s sublime poetry at the time, so I had an idea how to distract him…

*

Some people eat to live, while others live to eat. What about you? How far would you travel for the best meal of your life?

As far as a horse could take me.

*

What is your earliest memory? Describe it in detail, and tell us why you think that experience was the one to stick with you.

I remember carefree days on an English farm with my mother.  It sticks in my memory because I was suddenly, cruelly separated from her and put to work driving cabs in London, even though I was still young.  I did eventually retire happily to the country but along the way, I met with many hardships, much cruelty and some kindness.

Oh, wait…that was Black Beauty.

My first memory was of reading a rather sad book.  I forget what it was called.

Joke 684

Quotes from the great Phyllis Diller

English: Phyllis Diller portrait (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

• Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
• Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing.
• A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
• The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
• Best way to get rid of kitchen odours: eat out.
• A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
• Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.  [Everyone’s heard that before but I thought you’d like to know the source]
• I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
• Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
• Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
• Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
• Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
• We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
• Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Thanks to Terry for letting me lift this from her blog.  More tomorrow.