Joke 308

26 Jan

There was an opening in the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are extremely difficult to fill, requiring an extensive background check, training, and testing before candidates are even considered for the position. After reviewing several applicants and completing all the checks and training, the field was narrowed to the three most promising candidates. The day came for the final test which would determine which of the equally qualified candidates, would get the job.

The final candidates were two men and one woman. The agents administering the test took the first candidate, a man, down a corridor to a closed door and handed him a gun saying, “We must be completely assured that you will complete your assignments and follow instructions regardless of the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife, seated in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.” The man, shocked, said, “You can’t be serious! I could never kill my wife.” The CIA agent said, “Well, then, you’re obviously not the man for the job. Take your wife and go home.”

They brought the next candidate in, the other man, and repeated the instructions. This man took the gun, walked into the room and closed the door. However, after five minutes of silence, the door opened and the man handed the CIA agent the gun, saying, “I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t kill my wife. I tried to pull the trigger but I just couldn’t do it.” The CIA man said, “Well, then, you’re obviously not the man for the job. Take your wife and go home.”

Then they brought the woman down the corridor to the closed door, handed her a gun, and said, “We must be completely assured that you will complete your assignments and follow instructions regardless of the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your husband, seated in a chair. Take this gun and kill him.” The woman took the gun, walked into the room, and before the door closed all the way, the CIA agents heard the gun start firing. One shot after another, for thirteen shots, the noise continued. Then all hell broke loose. For the next several minutes, the men heard screaming, cursing, furniture crashing and banging on the walls; then suddenly, silence. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat him to death with the chair!”

16 Responses to “Joke 308”

  1. andy1076 January 26, 2012 at 05:35 #

    ROFLMAO! Details Details!! 😀

    Like

  2. RoryBore January 26, 2012 at 06:46 #

    LOL. Which is also why there should be all female leaders around the world….Robin Williams said it best: “No more wars….just some really intense negoiations every 28 – 32 days.”

    Like

  3. musings January 26, 2012 at 07:14 #

    Oh aaaack!

    Like

  4. Perfecting Motherhood January 26, 2012 at 07:35 #

    Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!!!
    You know what’s funny? One of the first things that came out of my mouth when I heard my husband hurt himself doing stupid jumps on the ski slopes was, I’m going to kill him!

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 26, 2012 at 12:56 #

      It’s like when our kids go missing – when we get them back, first we hug them then we wallop them. Or is that just me?

      Like

      • puddinggirl January 26, 2012 at 15:14 #

        Nope, you’re not alone with that act Tilly… I tend to do that like most of the time! 🙂 Ha! ha!

        Like

  5. viv blake January 26, 2012 at 09:24 #

    Oooooh! That’s one for Jock.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud January 26, 2012 at 12:56 #

      Tell him not to recite it back to me when we visit again.

      Like

  6. SchmidleysScribbling January 26, 2012 at 15:56 #

    Okay, you got me. Dianne

    Like

  7. Pat Bean January 26, 2012 at 16:34 #

    I had heard it before but still laughed out loud. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  8. nrhatch January 27, 2012 at 03:05 #

    That’s your longest joke yet, Tilly . . . and funny too!

    Like

  9. lanceleuven January 27, 2012 at 10:42 #

    Nice! That did make me chuckle

    Like

  10. Grannymar January 27, 2012 at 16:27 #

    A new one on me and soooooooo good!

    Like

  11. evilnymphstuff January 27, 2012 at 16:39 #

    Ah lol! Well as it is said: women take things way too seriously! xD

    Like

  12. Tilly Bud January 30, 2012 at 12:54 #

    I think this is one my own favourites so far.

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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