Oh Dear, Oh Dear, Oh Dear

Write a short story that ends with the following sentence:

‘Having learned his lesson, it was the last time Dr. Jiggybones would let the crossbeams get out of skew on the treadle.’

It can be a short story of just a paragraph or two.

The most ridiculous WordPress prompt yet deserves the most ridiculous response I can muster.  I must just say, I had great fun writing it, so thank you, WordPress!

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Once upon a time, there was a faraway land called Skew, which sat beside a river made entirely of foot pedals.  The land was ruled by an angry king named Woodlet.  As strangers approached, if King Woodlet was in a bad mood, he would shine a powerful torch on them and throw a foot pedal at any man who dared pass through his land.  He did this so often and became so adept at it, the foot pedal would often bounce off unfortunate heads and fly into the river.  The strangers would be served with fava beans and a nice chianti, by way of apology from the local hospital staff who patched them up.

The nurses were all hippies and a little flirtatious.  They became tired of stitching strangers’ heads, the hospital menu, and watching indignant marriageable men marching off without so much as a so long and thanks for all the wine.  They decided that positive action was called for: the King had bashed his last man!

The hippy, flirty nurses set up a command post on the bridge over the river.  Why?  To allow plenty of time to warn unsuspecting strangers to clear off.  It so happened that the first man to set foot on the bridge was wearing a white coat and a stethoscope; he was a physician of high renown and low fashion sense.  He had often tried to walk into the town across the river and each time had been fortunate to be so deep in thought that he had never been hit by a foot pedal. 

The nurses him did espy; one of them, who happened to have a foot mould about her person, threw it at him and cried: Haven’t learned this lesson?  It is the last time.  Doctor, dig ya bones!  Woodlet the Cross beams!  Get out of Skew-on-the-Treadle!

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Joke 203

Q:   How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A:   A hundred: one to change it, and 99 to stand there and say, ‘I could have done it better.’