From Will and Guy.
What A Mother Of Small Boys In Texas Knows
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.
- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
- A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound [3 stone] boy wearing batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 foot room.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
- The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
- Most Lego pieces will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
- Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
- VCRs do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably DO NOT want to know what that odour is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
- The fire department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
- Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without permission.
those were awesome, especially the batman on the fan!!! lol
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I liked that one 🙂
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Wonderful and hilarious (I haven’t said that for awhile!) How do you come up with this stuff? Oh, I know – voice of experience!
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Have I lost my edge? 😦
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Very, very funny. And I bet most of it is true. The boys from Hell.
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I have one son who gave me all my gray hairs. I’m glad he didn’t read this post.
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But he’s so lovely, I bet you don’t mind 🙂
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Hm, I wanted to give the whole brake fluid thing a go. 🙂
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Make sure you report back 🙂
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what’s Clorex, though?
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I’m going with bleach from my vague knowledge of the US language and some latin. 🙂
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seems right. So brake fluid and a chlorine based bleach led me to this
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Wow!
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and this
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Good grief!
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I think you’re right.
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The problem is to find brake fluid. I’ve never been allowed near something as interesting as that. 🙂
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😀
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I dont think anything could ignite in Scotland right now. We are taking dampness to a new level.
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Wet Scoops 😀
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Indeed.
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For me the funniest bit was reading number 8 and immediately thinking ‘What’s Clorox? Is that true? Because I’ve got break fluid’ And then I getting to the penultimate one…
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I had a real LOL moment reading this.
Have a Malteser 😀
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Good one … loads of great information … even if I will not move to Texas and I will not have any small boys neither. Very good, Tillly !!!
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That woman from Texas has an obsession with ceiling fans! 😉
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