Joke 695

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Quote…Unquote

• Never judge a book by its movie.   JW Eagan
• Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it. Cullen Hightower
• If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day. John A. Wheeler
• She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.  Groucho Marx
• My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.  Rodney Dangerfield
• Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.  Sue Murphy
• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.  Doug Larson
• Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.  Ernest Benn
• Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.  Andy Rooney
• The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.  Alfred Hitchcock
• The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.  Ronald Reagan
• There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.  Will Rogers
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  The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.  Hunter S. Thompson

From Will & Guy