Joke 710

Men are from Google, Women are from Yahoo! (Photo credit: inju)

Rules That Men Wished Women Knew

• Don’t cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it.
• Birthdays, Valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present…again!
• If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you  don’t want to hear.
• Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.
• Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like every other cat.
• Dogs are better than ANY cats.
• Sunday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
• Shopping is not a sport.
• Anything you wear is fine. Really.
• You have enough clothes.
• You have too many shoes.
• Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
• No, we don’t know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on  a calendar.
• Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes.  What makes you think we’d  be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
• Yes, No and Mmm are perfectly acceptable answers.
• Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car.
• Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All  comments become null and void after 7 days.
• If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
• Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say  during commercials.
• When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.
• If you want some dessert after a meal – order some. You don’t have to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don’t say “No, I couldn’t/shouldn’t/don’t want any” and then eat half of mine.
• If you’re on a diet it doesn’t mean my meals should be rabbit-food nouvelle-cuisine style. A man’s four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat, cold beer and more cold beer. Please ensure all meals contain a good balance of the above in good quantities – everything else falls under the category ‘garnish’.
• Do not question our sense of direction.

 

From hitched.co.uk