Joke 744

One liners from comedian Steve Wright

• My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
• I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
• Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
• How does the guy who drives the snow plough get to work in the mornings?
• Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
• I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
• I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
• Why is abbreviation such a long word?
• How did a fool and his money get together?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• What’s another word for thesaurus?*
• Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
• You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

From all over the internet.

*My interest was piqued by that one so I checked with thesaurus.com and the answer is:

• glossary
• language reference book
• lexicon
• onomasticon
• reference book
• sourcebook
• storehouse of words
• terminology
• treasury of words
• vocabulary
• word list