Joke 956

4 Nov
  • Just A Reminder to those who stole electrical goods in last year’s riots…your One Year Manufacturer’s Warranty runs out soon.

    Crossing Road Grunge Sign - Welsh Dragon

    Crossing Road Grunge Sign – Welsh Dragon (Photo credit: Free Grunge Textures – http://www.freestock.ca)

  • A boy asks his granny, ‘Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?’  Granny replies, ‘Forget the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?’
  • An elderly couple are attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, ‘I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?’  He replies, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’

Thanks to Sammy Dee at Manchester Meanders, who sent these, the most family-friendly of a bunch of jokes which, sadly, I can’t share with you.  But picture me giggling away to myself.

And thanks to Siggi of Maine for this one:

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22 Responses to “Joke 956”

  1. slpmartin November 4, 2013 at 04:07 #

    Oh…that last joke was just too funny!

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  2. Gabrielle Bryden November 4, 2013 at 09:40 #

    yes, what Charles said – falling off her chair!

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  3. Al November 4, 2013 at 18:43 #

    I thought I pacifically commented and told you to stop posting grammar corrections. Irregardless of that fact, you supposably just chose to ignore it. And don’t tell me you never seen it.For all intensive purposes you could obviously care less. To ignore something of upmost importance like this is rude, uncaring, unfriendly, ex cetera, ex cetera, ex cetera. I’m so angry I’m going to have an expresso and lay down for a nap.

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  4. colonialist November 4, 2013 at 20:47 #

    Those phrases have become invisible to numbers of people who are now wondering what on earth is seen as wrong about the versions on the left!

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  5. Hattie November 4, 2013 at 20:56 #

    My favorite is a friend who told us he had been diagnosed with acid reflex disease.

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  6. Elaine - I used to be indecisive November 4, 2013 at 21:49 #

    Those grammar things really irritate me. I hear ‘I could care less’ so much now, that I was actually beginning to wonder if I was wrong! I was relieved to see it on this list. 🙂

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    • The Laughing Housewife November 5, 2013 at 10:16 #

      Eventually, I suppose, it will be the correct form and the correct form will be the incorrect form. Or both will be acceptable. Maybe that’s how flammable and inflammable came to mean the same thing…

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  7. Pseu November 5, 2013 at 21:21 #

    I heard to day
    “Off his own back” – when of course if should have been (?Should of been ? 😉 )
    “Off his own bat.”

    Howzat?

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  8. benzeknees November 5, 2013 at 23:14 #

    Actually irregardless has been added to the dictionary because it was so well used.

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  9. bluebee November 8, 2013 at 06:56 #

    *laughing out loud in the library*

    And “he must of” – grrrrr. I’m no grammar purist (as just illustrated) but that one drives me crazy.

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  10. mewhoami November 9, 2013 at 09:01 #

    The phrases are great! Very funny. The saddest part is that it’s getting worse over time.

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I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.