Joke 166

6 Sep

Some house cleaning thoughts for you:

  1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
  2. Keep the house clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
  3. Never make fried chicken in the nude.
  4. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.
  5. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go…if it comes back to you, it’s yours; if it doesn’t, well, thank goodness for that.
  6. Only clean the bits you can see.
  7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.
  8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.
  9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
  11. I’m not going to vacuum until James Dyson invents one you can ride on.
  12. Take a tip from Zsa Zsa Gabor who once said, ‘I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.’
  13. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, ‘What? And spoil the mood?’
  14. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.
  15. If your dust really is out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist, ‘THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes….’

15 Responses to “Joke 166”

  1. siggiofmaine September 6, 2011 at 05:40 #

    I just love Garfield, and the hints…too close to the truth ☺.
    ☮ ♥ Siggi in Downeast Maine


  2. ElizOF September 6, 2011 at 05:57 #

    Great points! 🙂


  3. Perfecting Motherhood September 6, 2011 at 06:14 #

    I love the Dyson one! I want one of those!


  4. molly September 6, 2011 at 07:41 #

    This is exactly why I read your blog Tilly Bud, I get education with edge, then walk around smiling like I’ve got a silly secret to tell, cheers catchul8r molly


  5. earlybird September 6, 2011 at 08:59 #



  6. sufilight September 6, 2011 at 09:47 #

    Sweeping the house with a glance and keeping the house a la Zza Zza are my favorite ones. 🙂


  7. Pseu September 6, 2011 at 10:40 #

    Daft as a brush and not nearly so useful… 🙂


  8. SammyDee September 6, 2011 at 10:50 #

    It’s so true! There’s more to life than housework. No matter how much you clean there is always more to be done. I’d rather sit back and relax or go out. The housework can wait.


  9. sanstorm September 6, 2011 at 14:48 #

    *sighs smugly, having cleaned whole house*


  10. slpmartin September 6, 2011 at 16:06 #

    These were just great fun.


  11. sarsm September 6, 2011 at 16:48 #

    I love the Dyson one, but as you were riding along you just know that the crappy plastic parts would break, don’t you?

    Guilty as charged with number 6. 😉

    An old neighbour of mine once told me she sprayed polish on the radiator shortly before her in-laws came/her husband came home. Supposedly the just cleaned smell permeated the room.


    • Tilly Bud September 6, 2011 at 20:13 #

      My Mum had a friend who sprayed polish in the air just before getting visitors. Must be something in it.


I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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