A CoW And A Camel Walk Into A Bar…

This week’s winner of the most useless award in the blogosphere, the CoWAbunger, is  SchmidleysScribbling, for her comment on my post, 9.9.11.

I chose her because she opened with a joke and closed with an insult.  Look and learn, people!

Pleeze, that’s an albino bacterian camel.  Do you know the difference between a bacterian and a dromedary (the other kind of camel)?  One begins with a B and has two humps and the other…….

The bacterian camel lives in the high dry cold parts of the world and was used on the silk roads.  The Dromadary was used in the hot deserts. Both kinds of camels can go for long periods without a lot of water.  They are related to Llamas found in Wisconsin.

Llamas replaced the cows that used to live in Wisconsin (Holstein cows from Germany) before they read Tilly Bud’s blog and went mad.

And here’s your well-deserved trophy, Schmidley:

Well, not so much a trophy; more of a trophygraph.  The shop was all out of cowcamels on plinths.  But if you use your imagination, it looks like the camel is standing on the cow.

Catching Up With Prompts

Image by Dunechaser via Flickr

What is your biggest frustration about driving?

That I don’t.  I did once, until a nasty man was mean to me and I lost my nerve.  Not that I had much nerve to start with: three attempts to pass my test, and I bawled my eyes out during each one.

Remember something important you’ve lost.

My nerve (previous prompt refers).  And my mind.  I had one once.  It all goes into the first baby, you know.  The nurse at my ante-natal class told us that babies are parasites.  I wonder if she thought it was an anti-natal class?

Suggest a way for the government to unload foreclosed properties without swamping the already depressed real estate market.

Don’t foreclose in the first place.  Give the people you’ve made unemployed because of your mishandling of the economy a breathing space.

When is it ok to quit something?

When you’ve made everyone unemployed and homeless and you realise you don’t know how to handle the economy.

Write your bucket list.

• Mop
• Plastic
• Metal
• Seat

That’s all I’ve got.

Write a top ten list of your favorite songs.

Dear WordPress: why the sudden preoccupation with lists?  Why do you want me to bore my readers?  Who finds these lists interesting except the person who wrote them?

Dear readers: just remembered I’ve read at least half a dozen of your top ten songs lists.  Sorry.

Dear reader: thanks for staying.

Assemble your dream dinner guest list.

Seriously?  Did you not read my last response?

Sigh.

Okay then:

• any model/actress/WAG.

They’ll be on diets, meaning I get all the roast potatoes.

If you could be part of any fictional universe, what would it be?

I first thought of Harry Potter’s world, but I guarantee I wouldn’t be Hermione or Dumbledore.  At best, I’d be Luna; at worst, I’d be a squib.

I’d join Ender but, let’s face it: saviour of the planet, yes; barrel of laughs, no.

Perhaps Georgette Heyer’s Regency England?  Hmm…what are the chances I’d be the maid who empties the chamber pots (never mentioned, but you just know she’s lurking in the background)?  Or worse: the cook.

I’d join Jean-Luc on the Enterprise because of our shared love of Tea, Earl Grey, hot, and rigid adherence to good manners; but that Dr Beverley Crusher never lets him out of her sight and for all I know she could be well-named.

No, I think I’ll stay in my own universe of happy marriage, perfect kids and successful blog.  They don’t come more fictional than that.

*

Related articles

• If you could be part of any fictional universe, what would it be? (greenskyoutside.wordpress.com)
• If you could be part of any fictional universe, what would it be? (iamdustdaughter.wordpress.com)
• A simple post without prompting (laurieanichols.wordpress.com)
• PLINKY: daily writing prompts available (kinklogs.wordpress.com)

Joke 172

Thanks to Michelle in South Africa for this one.

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman:

before marriage and after marriage.