101/1001 (35)

Forgive me, dear readers; it has been five weeks since my last 101 session.  I ask your forgiveness because it is entirely possible, nay, dead certain, that this post will be a long one, covering as it will five whole weeks of tasking.

The challenge to type up and print out for folder and notebook over 100 poems I’ve written has gone up to over 150.  I have not left one poem in one location, never mind 101.

I read one new book (don’t judge me: I spend all my time talking to you lot; when do I get the time to read?), sent to me by the lovely Earlybird: True Grit.  Truly unputdownable.  I loved it.  I even got a rhyme out of it, which I can’t share because it has a spoiler in it and I want you to read it.    Read it.  But come back to me.

Expose myself to twenty new experiences (5/20)

I managed two of these on my recent trip to France (three, if you count my recent trip to France as a new experience, which it was, but I won’t): I met a blogging friend, my dearest Viv.  Have I told you about my recent trip to France?  I can bore for Africa on it.

The other new experience was to ask for a dessert in a foreign language.  I told you about it, the ice cream.  It is possible I have done this once before, in Afrikaans, but I don’t think so: South Africa had two official languages at that point, one of which was English, so there would have been no need.  South Africa now has eleven official languages; imagine the size of the menus.

Another new experience which I’m not including as a new experience because, although it was a new experience, I don’t think it counts as a new experience, was to say ‘yes’ to all the new foods that were offered to me instead of toddlerising myself by saying ‘no’ while thinking, I don’t fancy that.  I made up my mind to try everything that was offered to me while I was away, and a lot was, and I did.

I must just stress that it was easy to do because all of Viv’s food looks wonderful, and if I ignored dislike-trigger words such as ‘coffee’ and ‘walnuts’ and focused on like-trigger words such as ‘cake’, I didn’t even have to close my eyes to try anything new.

I managed to complete a task while I was away:

Try three new foods (7/3)

Foods I tried which I had never previously eaten (and before you throw up your hands in horror, remember I’m a plain northern girl brought up on plain northern food who had never even seen a watermelon until the age of fifteen):

• Jam on bread.  Okay, this somewhat belies the plain northern girl theory, given that plain northerners, girls and otherwise, have always eaten jam on bread.  I never have.  I don’t know why.  My Mum liked jam but I don’t remember seeing it in the house when I was growing up.  We must have had it in; perhaps I had a dreadful jam experience and blocked it out.  I could have got a stain on a favourite dress as a child, or bunged it in my brother’s ear and been unjustly punished for my (entirely natural) behaviour.  We will never know now because my mother took the secret to her grave.  I don’t regret it, because discovering a new and delicious food at my age was such fun!  Viv’s jam was home made apple and plum and yum yum yum is all I can say.  Yum!
• Coffee and Walnut Cake.  I don’t didn’t do like coffee and walnuts now, in a big fat cake, at least.  Yummy yum yum.
• Stuffing.  I have never eaten it.  Never fancied it.  Mum and Dad ate it.  I didn’t.  Bought a packet every Christmas for them as did; never did myself.  What a waste of Christmases.  Did I mention?  Yum!
• Raspberry Cake.  I have never eaten raspberries.  Never fancied them.  The Hub eats them.  I didn’t.  Bought packets for him in season; never ate them myself.  What a waste of seasons.  Did I mention?  Yum!
• Jock’s Walnut Coleslaw.  I think it was walnuts; I was too busy stuffing in second, third and fourth helpings to listen to the conversation.  Yummy!
• Real champagne.  It has to be made in Champagne to be called ‘champagne’.  I have drunk the ersatz stuff, of course, but I have to say I’m now in favour of that rule.  Yum!
• Amuse Bouche.  You know all about them: an excuse to eat tasty morsels before the main meal.  I’m in favour of that, too.  Yum.

Five weeks – seven foods – one happy housewife.

Joke 246

A young man moved away from his parents to become a student. Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, he led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong.

“What’s that big brass gong?” one of the guests asked.

“It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the student replied.

“A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend.

“Yup,” replied the student.

“How’s it work?” the second guest asked, squinting at it.

“Watch,” the student replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed: “You idiot, it’s one o’clock in the morning!”