D Is For ‘DVD’ Or, ‘Do I Divorce Him?’

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If I enjoy a book or film I can read or watch them over and over.  Ender’s Game and The West Wing are so familiar to me, we’re practically in a relationship.

Having devoured the Hub’s Christmas present from me to him – the Twilight trilogy DVD box set – I was desperate to see the fourth film, Breaking Dawn Part One.  It was on in the cinemas in January, though it had been out for a while.  He promised to take me.

Small problem: you need to mortgage the house to afford cinema tickets, and we don’t own our house.  We had to use Orange Wednesday – our mobile phone service provider gives us two-for-one on cinema tickets on Wednesdays, if we send them a begging text.

Small problem: Manchester City were in some football cup competition and all their matches were scheduled for Wednesday nights on the telly.

Small problem: the movie was only on in the evenings.

Hub problem: watch the match or please the wife?

I was never going to win that battle.

By the third week the Hub had promised that if City played the following Wednesday, we’d pawn Spud and pay full price Thursday tickets.  I decided not to leave him after all.

Small problem: when I checked cinema times the following Thursday…the film had finished its run.

Hub problem: how to placate an enraged wife?  Promise to buy her the DVD the MOMENT it is released.

The Breaking Dawn Part One DVD comes out today (I can’t believe they didn’t mention it on the morning news).  The Hub is revving the car as I type.

Joke 354

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.

We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.  Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop.

Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear poop is larger and has little bells in it and smells like pepper.