Joke 195

5 Oct

Thanks To Cindy for this one.

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR… 

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it  in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a  little dull.  But that’s not the worst  of it. 

My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up  close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here’s the worst of it: almost every time I  sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

7 Responses to “Joke 195”

  1. sarsm October 5, 2011 at 05:56 #

    I fit that one quite well. 😉

    Like

  2. ElizOF October 5, 2011 at 07:55 #

    Consider the blessing… You are still running; revving those engines is grace. 🙂

    Like

  3. Pseu October 5, 2011 at 08:32 #

    Sorry. Can you speak up?

    Like

  4. misswhiplash October 5, 2011 at 12:18 #

    Has somebody been spreading rumours about me? Especially the last one!

    Like

  5. nrhatch October 5, 2011 at 15:37 #

    Love it! Thanks Tilly & Cindy! 😀

    Like

  6. slpmartin October 5, 2011 at 16:27 #

    Pretty funny!

    Like

  7. Tom (Aquatom1968) October 5, 2011 at 22:35 #

    😀 😀

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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