Joke 195

Thanks To Cindy for this one.

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR… 

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it  in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a  little dull.  But that’s not the worst  of it. 

My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up  close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here’s the worst of it: almost every time I  sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.