Archive | 11:16

Old Girl Power!

26 Jul
Halswell House

Halswell House (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A great story in the Telegraph:

A defiant grandmother, Stella Bond, staged a three day sit-in protest in her son’s stately home to prevent it being repossessed by bailiffs representing an American bank.

The 78 year-old refused to budge from inside Halswell House, near Bridgwater, Somerset, that is owned by her son Grahame.

She occupied a magnificent wood-panelled library until Citi Private Banking proved it had the legal right to take possession of the £3million Grade I listed Tudor mansion.

She calmly remained ensconced in her armchair for 72 hours before the American-based bank ordered bailiffs to leave.

This allowed Mr Bond, a multi-millionaire former estate agent, more time to negotiate with the banks.

Read more here.A defiant grandmother, Stella Bond, staged a three day sit-in protest in her son's stately home to prevent it being repossessed by bailiffs representing an American bank.  

With a mother like that, no wonder he’s a multi-millionaire.

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Spud told me that when he gets rich he is going to buy a parrot and teach it to say to strangers, ‘Help!  I’ve been turned into a parrot!’

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English: A Jet2 Boeing 737-800 at Manchester A...

English: A Jet2 Boeing 737-800 at Manchester Airport Gate 7 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the news yesterday: an eleven year old boy stowed away on a Jet2 flight from Manchester to Rome.  The headline, inevitably: Rome Alone.

Reasons cited for him getting on a plane without passport, ticket or adult supervision:

  • he attached himself to a family
  • the flight was busy
  • no one asked him for his boarding card at any point
  • Jet2 got their head count wrong, or didn’t do one at all.

Five members of staff have been suspended pending investigation.

No need to panic!  We are told the child was ‘no threat to passengers.’  They must have caught him before his seventy-ninth knock-knock joke bored to death the person sitting next to him.

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I follow The Original Weather Blog.  Apparently, July has seen a tornado drought in the US but Canada is making up for it.  From his latest post:

I was rather amused by a tweet that I saw yesterday from a person that I follow here in the U.S.: “Dear Canada, can we please have our tornadoes back?”

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If you’re not a Terminator fan and a cat fan, you won’t see the humour in this, but it tickled me:

Ding Dong

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I watched Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Superstar – the search to find an unknown to headline his arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar.   

Ben was a worthy winner, if you don’t mind his resemblance to Mr Bean.  I am glad the show is over; I don’t think I could take another minute of Amanda Can’t See The Wood For The Wooden Presentation Holden.  Getting the ‘contendents’ names confused for the phone lines not once, but twice, was a highlight: can the woman not read an autocue?

Listening to her tell the audience every night to ‘Give it up for our Jesuses’ was excruciating, but even that was surpassed by Lord A telling us that Ben was a plumber’s son; Andrew LW was a plumber’s grandson (with that accent?  His grandfather must have seen royal sewage); and – wait for it – the writer of the song Ben had just sung was written by a plumber’s son…!  

No wonder one Tweeter said that Andrew was like ‘an old man version of Wikipedia’ and another begged, ‘Can we vote Andrew off the show?’

The BBC do these shows much better, even with the ridiculous throne.

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I’ll close with the most sensible argument I’ve ever heard for being green, courtesy of Katherine Trauger:

SAVE THE EARTH!!!

(It’s the only planet with Maltesers . . . )

Joke 490

26 Jul

 

Another one from Will & Guy.

creation of man

creation of man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bobby, nine, opened the big old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them.  Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely.  It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Hey, Mum, look what I’ve found!” Bobby called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

Astonishment written all over his face, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s suit!”

 

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