Joke 616

29 Nov

These came to me via Pseu, from The Telegraph.

On Monday, John Gurdon won the Nobel Prize for...

On Monday, John Gurdon won the Nobel Prize for physiology or medicine. This is an excerpt from his 1949 high school report card. (Photo credit: orangeek)

School reports: the 15 best school reports submitted to the Telegraph letters page

  • He has an overdeveloped unawareness.
  • This boy does not need a Scripture teacher. He needs a missionary.
  • About as energetic as an absentee miner.
  • Unlike the poor, Graham is seldom with us.
  • The improvement in his handwriting has revealed his inability to spell.
  • For this pupil all ages are dark.
  • The tropical forests are safe when John enters the woodwork room, for his projects are small and progress is slow.
  • Henry Ford once said history is bunk. Yours most certainly is.
  • Would be lazy but for absence.
  • At least his education hasn’t gone to his head.
  • He has given me a new definition of stoicism: he grins and I bear it.
  • The stick and carrot must be very much in evidence before this particular donkey decides to exert itself.
  • French is a foreign language to Fowler.
  • Rugby: Hobbs has useful speed when he runs in the right direction.
  • Give him the job and he will finish the tools.
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16 Responses to “Joke 616”

  1. terry1954 November 29, 2012 at 04:04 #

    good, good, good!!!

    Like

  2. adinparadise November 29, 2012 at 04:34 #

    Hahaha. “At least his education hasn’t gone to his head.” My favourite. 😀

    Like

  3. slpmartin November 29, 2012 at 04:46 #

    My favorite was the second one…quite witty all.

    Like

  4. timkeen40 November 29, 2012 at 05:07 #

    The improvement in his handwriting as only revealed his inability to spell…I like that.

    Like

  5. Kay's Musings November 29, 2012 at 06:18 #

    There’s a few here that I wish I could have used. 🙂

    Like

  6. Jan November 29, 2012 at 06:42 #

    Yes, a good read, Iiked the last one best, it rolls off the tongue so well.

    Like

  7. Katharine Trauger November 29, 2012 at 08:03 #

    Hilarious! Thanks for this one! I especially enjoyed: The improvement in his handwriting has revealed his inability to spell. So true, sometimes! I actually am tutoring a girl with dysgraphia THAT BAD. But she is improving. Writing misspelled words 5 times each improves both problems, eventually. Now days, she only misses maybe 3 to 6 words per two-page essay. Both her parents have learning disabilities, so she is fighting an uphill battle. But she is a hard worker and improves steadily, the poor dear! I remember when she was 7, she was unsure about how to spell her own name. Quite improved, now, at age 12. Her latest gaff was leaving the “u” out of Australia. Funny thing is that she reads perfectly. When I showed her this mistake, she just laughed and wondered why she did not get it, when she does know how to spell it. And let me tell you, reading her work has destroyed MY spelling skills. Latest gaff: doubled the “t” in British. Bother!

    Like

  8. bevchen November 29, 2012 at 09:00 #

    Very good! Like this one best: The stick and carrot must be very much in evidence before this particular donkey decides to exert itself. 😀

    Like

  9. robincoyle November 30, 2012 at 01:13 #

    The improvement in his handwriting has revealed his inability to spell . . . describes me to a tee.

    Like

  10. Grannymar November 30, 2012 at 18:09 #

    They are all good and I will see how many I can remember as I prepare my dinner for the oven!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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