Joke 885

Message on notice board at St Peter & St Paul, Shoreham (Photo credit: L2F1)

The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.

• “Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on ‘It’s a Terrible Experience’.”
• “Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.”
• “Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.”
• “A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.”
• “Today’s Sermon: ‘How Much Can a Man Drink?’ with hymns from a full choir.”
• On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness: “God is good – Dr. Hargreaves is better.”
• “Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.”
• “The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.”
• “Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.”
• “The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.”
• A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.
• Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

From ahajokes.