Topic #1: Cleaning

A toilet with the potentially dangerous arrangement of the seat being up (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Expecting visitors, I cleaned like I meant it last week.

That’s right, you heard me: my house is clean.

It feels weird.

That’s that topic covered.

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An idle thought

I once saw a safety advert which said that mixing cleaning chemicals in a toilet can lead to explosions.

I wondered this: if I put neat bleach in the toilet, forget it’s there, and then do a wee, will I set light to my bottom?

Joke 796

A dog looking through a fence (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Grannymar told me this story.  Imagine it in a beautiful Irish lilt:

I’m at Pets at Home buying a bag of food for my dog. While in the check-out queue, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Dog Food Diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. 

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s butt and a car hit me.