English Pen ran a competition: make up a word; use it as a title in a poem or piece of flash fiction. I did; I didn’t win; but I was a runner-up – one of thirty, from over 400 entries.
That was some weeks ago. I received an email with the news; then another, telling me where to access a free download of the anthology e-book, The Dictionary Of Made-Up Words.
Cue weeks of frustration. I could NOT download that damn thing. I can’t tell you how I struggled, trying to access it. I have no idea how I ended up with seventeen downloads of the same document on several computers (I thought it might be something to do with the Windows package), but so it was. It appears I could download it; I just couldn’t read it.
The email offered me a MOBI version for Kindle. I was told I needed to download a MOBI package to access the e-book. I was too scared to do that – I’ve heard about these exploding viruses that wipe your hard drive. The Hub has warned me ever since I learned to switch on a computer by myself: NEVER click ‘Yes’ on an executable file if you don’t know the source. I don’t know if it was an executable file; I don’t know who this MOBI is, but I suspect he’s a bit of a dick, so I played it safe and that is possibly why I have seventeen downloads of a file I can not access on all computers in the house and even one in Peterborough with Tory Boy.
English Pen asked us to publicise the e-book, but how could I ask you to face the same trials I was facing?
I could not. I like you all too much to want you to stand beating your heads against a brick wall (or tin wall, for those of you who live in less traditional structures; but it’s still got to hurt).
Round about the time I was ready to take a screwdriver to my laptop to see if the book was lurking about in its entrails, the Hub stepped in.
Much shouting ensued, because I was telling him how to do the thing he was doing because I didn’t know how to do it (c’mon ladies…we’ve all done it). Here’s the gist of it:
HUB (in capitals because he’s yelling): It’s not for your computer, it’s for your Kindle! All you’ve got to do is transfer it from your laptop to your Kindle!
ME (in capitals because I’m yelling because I’m wrong): Oohhhhhhh….
Me (in lower case because I’m an idiot): And how do I do that?
*
You know what the irony of this story is?
My poem is about my inability to use technology. 😀
*
You can download the whole book for free (if you need a Hub to hurl abuse at you while that’s happening, mine’s available), for your Kindle, Nook or something else, here.
They will send you an email with a couple of links. Don’t ask me for help.
Take some time to read the comments about the winning poem. They make the Hub and I look like we’re blissfully in love.
For those of you who don’t have an e-reader (or the technology gene), here’s my poem:
*
as an elderly computer dies.
for a simpler age,
when a book had a page.
I love your poem! I didn’t realize that you were writing a poem with me in mind. Tilly you’re the best 😉 I felt your pain with the download and I know what it feels like when a certain someone finally comes in to explain. sigh.
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Your poem is lovely. Especially appropriate given what happened with the download. I wouldn’t have known what to do either. How do you know you’re supposed to open it with Kindle? Do they tell you that? What is a MOBI anyway? I would have been as cautious as you were. Hub shouldn’t have yelled at you. You were within your rights to be suspicious.
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Hub always yells at me. It’s his default setting 😉
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Excellent. Congratulations. And sums up exactly my relationship with technology!!
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I think there are more of us than of them!
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You and me both. But my OH would ‘t touch the coputer and if he did everything would disappear. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t ask Hub in the first place – you know he’s a technowizard = someone who can untangle technincompoopery!
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Did you notice my technept typo-cum-new-word coputer: a cross between computer and copul….. On second thoughts, don’t go there..
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😀
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“Techneptitude” an absolutely perfect word that applies to far too accurately to far too many of us I fear.
“Techneptitude” the the new title of the new affliction that I will tell our computer friend I am suffering from when he comes around soon to help me regain entry into my Flickr account… (they “updated” it but now I can’t figure out at all how to get back in! Grrr)
Congratulations on being picked as one of the runner-ups! Excellent 🙂
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I rather love that definition poem of yours….very clever.
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Ta x
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I make up words all the time when I am playing Scrabble. David says I can’t but I tell him, “Well it outta be a word.” As for technology, It sucks. Dianne
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ever read those “medical symptons” sites and become convinced you have some weird tropical disease? Techneptitude: I’ve got it. I’m sure of it. Is there a cure? besides yelling at my hub — because I already did that today concerning our gazebo which took flight in the night and landed on the neighbours roof — because hubby was going to screw it to the deck “later.”
Incidentally, I’ve just created a new word: “Mancrastination.”
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I love it! You should write a post about it. 🙂
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Great poem, Tilly Bud. So few words, so much angst!
I salute the Hub. Every family needs a technomeister.
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Great poem, Tilly. My hubby and yours should get together and commiserate. 🙂
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Over a Castle and a braai! He’s in 🙂
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That is even better than the I D 10 T error! Brilliant!
I await the lynx … er, links … most eagerly.
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The link is there! Under ‘here’.
Here: ..oh, wait, you mean the links in the email, don’t you?
*mutters* First it’s the technology, then it’s comprehension…there’s not going to be much left of me that does work.
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Yes, are they here or there? Or everywhere?
Never mind, I have the email! 🙂
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Love the poem, think yourself lucky to have a hubby to yell at. My walls remain mute and punching them hurts!
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Duly noted 😦
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Don’t feel bad, sometimes i say these things with tongue firmly in cheek.
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Phew! 🙂
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Love your poem, Tilly! Congratulations on being a runner-up. That’s so exciting!
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That’s a clever poem, and I love the word “techneptitude.” It needs to catch on! And you’re so right about this being tremendously ironic given your problem with the download. I’ll sign up for the link and see if I can get it on my Kindle, too. I’d love to read the others, but I really like yours!
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Thanks 😀
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You are good!
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What a great poem! I think I am going to adopt the word ‘techneptitude’ because I definitely suffer from it sometimes.
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Please do adopt it and…er…spread the word! If it comes into common usage, I’ll die happy 🙂
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I am appalled you didn’t win. Techneptitude. That’s brilliant. And the poem is good, too. 🙂
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Ta x
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Sounds like me!
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