Archive | 11:13

Welcome To Stockport

20 Jun
View from our house of another drama. The faces change; the cop cars remain the same

View from our house of another drama. The faces change; the cop cars remain the same

So here’s how my early evening went last night:

  • Make dinner
  • Eat dinner
  • Clean up after dinner
  • Rinse plates while daydreaming about Star Trek replicators and the ultimate recycling (dirty plates energized into pristine uniform on perfect and somewhat shapelier figure than I’ve ever owned)
  • Startled by noise outside, shoved inside by open window on glorious summer evening (so rare, it deserves a post of its own)
  • Look up from dirty plate reality
  • See two young men, separated by a bicycle (the crashing to the ground of which startled me into looking up)
  • Watch one young man brandish what looks like a baseball-bat-come-small-tree-trunk
  • Watch same young man swing at other young man with baseball-bat-come-small-tree-trunk
  • Watch third, older, man run up and throw bicycle at brandishing young man
  • Feel disappointed when brandishing man and bicycle-throwing man run out of sight
  • Feel ashamed at my instinctive – nay, feral – enjoyment of violence outside my own front door
  • Feel relieved that the car wasn’t damaged in the fracas
  • Watch second young man ride off on bicycle
  • Listen to shouts and yells out of sight as large group of youths run to join the fray
  • Watch youths suddenly scatter in all directions, hurling abuse at each other
  • Watch as three police cars with flashing lights appear too late to do anything

After discussion with a neighbour – and this is all hearsay so I can’t assert its veracity, though it has the ring of truth – it appears that the local drug dealers had a falling out, leading to one young man of fifteen taking a baseball-bat-come-small-tree-trunk to his own father’s head (the man who threw a bicycle at him); having, apparently, beaten up his own mother last week.  

‘Stay well out of it’ was the neighbour’s advice; which we’re inclined to take.

That all happened around six o’clock.  By seven-thirty, the Hub and I were sitting in a school hall, listening to what’s involved in sending our seventeen-year-old, drug-free, trouble-free, never-hit-either-of-his-parents, baseball-bat-come-small-tree-trunk-free son to university next year.

You can lead a youth to education, but you can’t make him think.  

The drugs see to that.


Joke 819

20 Jun
That awkward moment when you spell a word so w...

That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong… (Photo credit: QuotesEverlasting)

While we’re on the subject…

Eye halve a spelling chequer. It came with my pea sea. It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say weather eye am wrong oar write. It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid it nose bee fore two long. And than eye can put the error rite.

Its rarely ever wrong. Eye have run this let tar threw it. I am pleased two tell you its letter perfect. My checker tolled me sew.

Sauce unknown.


From Will & Guy

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