Archive | 15:03

Christmas Is Coming

24 Aug

The X-Factor is back.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a late convert, and I love it; but it’s a kind of modern advent calendar, because we know it will end just before Christmas – just enough before Christmas to allow the winner to have the Christmas Number One.

Simon Cowell: Scrooge with teeth.

I Repeat: Sweet Nothings

24 Aug

Try to think about nothing, for as long as you can. What happens?

I find myself thinking: haven’t we just done this one?

Look here if you don’t believe me.

*

Revisit a topic you wrote about in January.

I’ve been doing that all year, as all I ever do is bore for Africa about myself, my dogs, my family and my woeful cooking.  Instead, I will re-blog a true story from January.

Hub: I’ll have to pop up to Edgeley; I need some Aeros.

Me:    Aeros?

Hub: Yes, for the fish.

Me:    You can’t feed chocolate to the fish!

Hub: Not Aeros, you wally.  Air.  Hose.

*

Joke 153

24 Aug

Steve lived in Staten Island, NY and worked in Manhattan.  He had to take the ferry home every night.  One evening he found there was a wait for the next boat, so he decided to stop at a nearby tavern.  Before long he was feeling no pain.  When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock.

Afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, Steve took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.

“How did you like that jump, buddy?” asked a proud Steve of a deck hand.

“It was great,” said the sailor.  “But why didn’t you wait?  We were just pulling in!”

*