Joke 552

26 Sep

Two from ajokeaday.com

A class photo of the 110th United States Senate.

A class photo of the 110th United States Senate. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, “Do you pray for the senators?”

He replied, “No.  After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people.”

***

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense to get his client off the hook.  “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items.  His arm is not himself, so I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed solely by his arm.”

“Well put,” the judge replied, smiling. “Using that same logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. Your client can accompany the arm or not, as he chooses.”

The defendant said, “Thank you, your honour.”  With his lawyer’s help, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

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19 Responses to “Joke 552”

  1. boomiebol September 26, 2012 at 04:02 #

    Lol

    Like

  2. judithatwood September 26, 2012 at 04:32 #

    😎

    Like

  3. Hudson Howl September 26, 2012 at 04:41 #

    Slightly bent logic of the latter works for me.

    Like

  4. J. Boudreaux September 26, 2012 at 04:45 #

    Keep making us laugh . . . God is the only one who knows how much of the stuff we need! J. Boudreaux

    Like

  5. slpmartin September 26, 2012 at 04:52 #

    Liked the first one the best …but both were good.

    Like

  6. katharinetrauger September 26, 2012 at 05:11 #

    Yikes! We know a guy with an artificial arm. He has a pretty good sense of humor, too . . . Hmm. 🙂

    Like

    • katharinetrauger September 26, 2012 at 05:23 #

      Oh, but I just remembered, he lost his original arm while trying to escape from prison — he was shot. Hmm. Oh, MY, I’m remembering more: While he was in prison the second time, his original artificial arm was stolen from him. The one he has now is the 2nd. Hmm.

      Like

  7. misswhiplash September 26, 2012 at 06:31 #

    That started off my day really well, and it did no ‘arm xxxxx

    hey there Malteser Girl..how yer feeling now?

    Like

    • vivinfrance September 26, 2012 at 06:47 #

      A good pair. The first could apply equally to the House of Commons, and the second reminds me of Shylock’s pound of flesh!

      Like

    • bluebee September 26, 2012 at 23:02 #

      😀

      Like

  8. grannymar September 26, 2012 at 11:50 #

    Special offer day, two smiles for the price of one!!

    I hope you feel on top form real soon.

    Like

  9. viveka September 26, 2012 at 19:20 #

    First one spot on- GREEeEeEeet! … second one – okay. A little parcel arrived today. Will come back to this subject.

    Like

    • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife September 27, 2012 at 15:35 #

      At last! Can’t believe how long it took. Yours arrived so quickly.

      Like

      • viveka September 27, 2012 at 15:44 #

        I think it has do with the price we have to pay for postage – it’s like we are buying the post office every time we send something abroad, but they promise delivery in 3 days inside EU. £6.90 it cost me.

        Like

        • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife September 27, 2012 at 16:00 #

          Good grief! WE thought we paid a lot at almost half that.

          Thank you, dear Wivi 🙂

          Like

          • viveka September 27, 2012 at 16:04 #

            Linda, please don’t feel guilty over my postage now. Service cost money in Sweden. A little post will come. Thank you!!!

            Like

  10. Perfecting Motherhood September 27, 2012 at 02:38 #

    That chaplain joke has to be true!

    Like

I welcome your comments but be warned: I'm menopausal and as likely to snarl as smile. Wine or Maltesers are an acceptable bribe; or a compliment about my youthful looks and cheery disposition will do in a pinch.

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