Archive | 08:29
9 Sep

If you haven’t come across Tinman before, take a look at this post.

Worth Doing Badly

Among the words that the OED has added this year are Cryonaut, Five-second rule, Gastric Band, Sexting, Tinfoil Hat, and Yuck Factor….


He was the essence of stressence as his eye ran down the list. Then he gave a long, loud humilolation, an onomatopoeic groan of humiliation and desolation.

None of the words he had submitted had made the new edition of the Dictionary.

Not Star-warrior, someone who willing to argue till death that Star Wars is better than Star Trek. Nor Spock-jock, such a person‘s deadliest foe.

Not whether-forecast, gambling on not bringing an umbrella to work. Nor screw-cut, refusing to cut your hair because you know it annoys your parents.

Not foot-soar, the feeling you get when you slip on something in a supermarket, nor bum-thrum, the annoying twinge that you feel for three days afterwards.

Not Hunger-Games-hunger, the hope that there will someday be another book…

View original post 181 more words

Joke 535

9 Sep
Linea nigra dark midline streak on a 22 weeks ...

Linea nigra dark midline streak on a 22 weeks pregnant female. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From jokesabout.

Pregnancy Questions Part I

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A: Yes, but you’ll have a better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.

Q: Can a woman get pregnant from a toilet seat?
A: Yes, but the baby would be funny looking.

Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex once a year.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?

A: The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.

Q: Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.

Q: What is a chastity belt?

A: A labour-saving device.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My blood type is O-positive and my husband’s is A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type AB-positive?
A: Then the jig is up.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: ‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labour?
A: When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

Q: What’s the difference between a nine-months pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?
A: Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him.

Q: How long is the average woman in labour?
A: Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

%d bloggers like this: